S6E11 - I am Become Death, Destroyer of Cows

I don't got time to mark this motherfucker. Here we go again. We can't hear anybody. Nobody can talk to anybody
You guessed it pressure points with your two favorite hosts
I'm Dee and this is the D childhood scrapbook enthusiast AJ
We're coming at you a season 6 episode 11. I am become death
Destroyer of cows. I don't know what the fuck ages getting into but it's gonna be good find us on Instagram at points
Oh pressure
Well turn the fucking thing off you dumbass
Fantastic that was a fucking word. So you made it you made it work. I made it happen
Hello. Hello
Everybody yeah, hi
Hello ever increasing
Amount of Canadians and Germans who are listening to this show. Welcome
Guten tag, I have some great news for you. Oh, yeah. Yeah by Thursday night
We have to record two additional episodes to this week. Yep. Why two? Oh, you're going out of town
And they're both your
Episode you really dug yourself into it. Yeah, it's all good
I mean if you really need me to I could come up with the exclusive and then you do two in a row
I got it. No worries
You're right. I would have phoned it in you would have
I'll probably phone it
ET phone the fuck home. That's my yeah. Where's my father? Can we get sweet tea in here?
Cover us cover our ass. What are you doing on Wednesday? Yeah
Wednesday night doing Wednesday at 8 p.m. Yeah, I come sit down and tell the stories
Yeah, I have hot I have some hot wheels for your nephew or for your grandson. Yeah
Oh
Bribery. Yeah, exactly. So yeah your your trips coming up. Yeah, we leave on Friday
And I spent too much money and get too much sun
Fuck yeah, I'm gonna come back. I'm gonna come around as an avocado
Okay, yeah about as fucking ring about a soft. Yeah
Yeah, we I'm sure you guys are super packed and
Like, you know planned with shit to do but if you're bored and you want a little
Do you remember AJ? We miss him so bad
Go to the Atomic History Museum. Oh, it is we don't bad. I'm gonna be honest
Oh, you have nothing up until like last week. We were like, oh, we're gonna have $400 to spend on this trip outside of the hotel
Whoo, but uh, we oh, yeah, she got some some more
She got she got her uh, I keep forgetting the word for it severance. She got her severance
I got finally I got paid a bonus at work and we both got our tax returns back and we're like, okay
Yeah, we're gonna be fine. So rent's gonna be early this morning. I already sent it bitch this month. Oh, yeah. Sorry
I thought it was April
I'm
I'm all messed up. So yeah, we're excited. So if you get bored and you have like an hour to
Atomic Atomic History Museum is so cool. There's I'm pretty sure it is. Okay, it's by one of those gardens
You know the outdoor gardens know
That they have places like they have I went to one in Seattle
I went to I don't know they they have like botanical gardens in there and in as touristy shit
It's just a bunch of cat. Yeah, I mean that's what 90% of it is
Okay, but yeah, I went there and when I went there I had pink eye
So I had to wear sunglasses don't touch anything all the photos of me from that trip
I was wearing sunglasses. You look extra cool. Oh, yeah
Yeah wearing sunglasses inside the Auschwitz section of the Atomic History Museum
Just to cover up my tears, but no it is it is really cool
Like it goes into like some of the cultural aspects of it like how it affected culture
It goes into the horrors and dangers of it really well
There's a fun little exhibit towards the end. I mean, I'm sure it's changed
It's been over a decade, but there was a fun little exhibit where it was like
Here's all these different things
Here's all these different rocks and
Listed what it is and then here's a Geiger counter and you can just check like here's this is uranium. This is plutonium
Here's some weird shit, and I remember this was you know this was back in the day. I think I had a flip phone and
My I went with my with my you know with my family and yeah
And the papa was there and he was like oh scan your cell phone because you know that was always a thing like oh
radiation in the cell phones nothing didn't beep but I
I don't remember what triggered it or who's idea yeah, no what he called me
And when the phone went off it did it reacted to the Geiger counter. I'm like that's all right. That's cool cool
Now I don't have to go and I got a great picture with a cardboard cutout of Miss atomic bomb
1945 or something grandma yeah, right no no she was
This isn't doxing. She was Montpelier drug queen
I'm such a good title oh
Jesus too good all right, but yeah, we're we're excited. Oh, yeah, it'll be nice. We're gonna
Drink oh yeah, so we talked about it. We're like cocaine
Go get MDMA really fucking good coffee every fucking morning
Hang out I guess go to Eminem
We'll have access to like two different pools. I don't know why yeah, it was something with the booking
So you know we'll be hanging out by the pool
I'll have my little belly button out
Awesome, I'm super jealous. We'll go we'll go when you finish. I'm done with school. Yeah fuck yeah, yeah, it's
We're excited for ya excited be a grand the pressure points sponsored
vacation
Where you have to hand out business cards?
You know you know the people on the street in Vegas where they have like the cards with the ladies with their tits out
Yeah, you have to do that, but with pressure points. I'm gonna come back
You know when they give you the card you give them your car. I'm gonna come back, and I just have a little peepee
Yeah, next to my eye dude D. What have you done if we get 1 million subscribers on patreon?
I do it or just 1 million subscribers full stop
Do we got getting a pressure point if we can fuck his tattoo?
I did the math the other day if we got a thousand patreon subscribers on our lowest here
That's 2k a month for each of us, okay, so so a thousand
Thousand patreon subscribers, I will get any test you want anywhere on my body
Except for my face. I don't like face or neck tattoo well
I get pink eye a lot still so I nothing on the face. I
Swear you like a fucking
Yeah, in a public pool. I'm a 10 year old. I have a 10 year old
No, it's really just that I get I my body is weird. There's a syndrome
I forgot what is called, but basically when I get a cold sore it
Forgets where the mouth is and it fucks up my face
It's basically like a cold sore and shingles. Oh, no fucked in my eye
It makes me almost go blind every time I swear to God Jesus meanwhile
I could get hit by a fucking truck
Yeah, and you're just I could land in a vat of like acid needles, and I wouldn't get fucking me
I would come out with like Kovac some yeah, okay
Like norovirus yeah, it wouldn't be anything. I'm like well. Yeah, groggy. Whatever yeah, so
Yeah, that's my entire fucking life
Like just just recently I I felt it because you can kind of feel you know when you're getting a cold sore
You can kind of feel it the day before and then it kind of turns red I
Had that on the corner of my eye fuck that it and I was like fuck. I have a clinical
You can't miss those like I have class
I have tests like this is a bad week because it takes at least a week for me to get through it
And it's viral. There's no like antibiotic was that that I think you had before yeah, okay? Yeah
It usually happens once a year, but sometimes if I'm extra stressed it happens more often
And it's like I could take a cyclopyr. You know just like
Cold sore preventative medication, but I
Don't want to be on a on a fucking antiviral for a year
To prevent it once so I just kind of deal with it, and I was like fuck
I got to do something so I logged into my school library account. They have all the research papers and I'm like
just
Diagnosing non non antiviral
Like second line treatment for viral infections, and I was reading through them
I'm just looking for keywords, and I've seen corticosteroids like sold click through and like okay
Steroids help you get through a virus
Steroids help you get through a virus faster
So and I have I?
Used to be way worse. I used to have a really bad eczema. I know it's eczema for everybody else, but I say eczema
Like a drink I say eczema too, but I say like it's an energy drink. Yeah, so I
eczema
so I I have like
Really good prescription strength topical steroids
I'm just fucking and I did I was I like how close can I get to my eye?
Before this makes me go blind I put that on like four times a day
Worked went away. Yeah, when a wave here or it blistered, but for the next two weeks
The skin was really weird right there
it was like thin and
sloughing so you know pros and cons uh
By the way, there's a billboard on our way back from my parents place. Oh, yeah
There's a billboard in this area that says ketamine therapy
You should do it
Okay
Find out and I was like I need to talk to AJ about this because that's some weird shit
No that the Dean at my school does ketamine therapy for childhood abuse. It's you know it's any
It's very similar to MDMA therapy or psilocybin therapy where you just take the drug
Tim I should do it with a thought in mind and then you sit there with a doctor or a therapist or a nurse or whatever and they just
Help you kind of ride through the experience while keeping that topic in mind, so it allows you to approach
difficult situations difficult topics difficult
Experiences in a safe manner very like it's it's the same way that with MDMA therapy
Okay speaking of which I have something for you. Oh, yeah
Yeah, and a little plastic baggie
Yes, yes, hell yeah
Uh yeah, it's like what the fuck figure out how much it costs and if it costs less than whatever we're making on patreon
Well, you have to make it into an episode a patreon exclusive episode, okay?
So there you go if and you know what I'm gonna say that if anybody has suggestions for
Content like that where it kind of may cost as long as it's less than what we're making from patreon
I'll do an episode on yeah, it's good. It's a good point. Okay. Yeah, yeah, so any exploratory
You know
Procedures these trips, let's go get you a tit job. It'll be called D's ketamine trip
It'll be an episode in May. We're gonna. We're gonna stack up two months worth of in fact of
If you know somebody just buy some ketamine
And we'll do it at home and we'll call it DNA J's ketamine trip through time
I don't know if anywhere in this anywhere in the same home as you I would consider a safe space
That's fair enough. You have a lock on your door
Not on the front one. Nope the bathroom door. Hey the the B
It's got some weak hinges the B door has
a lock on it, right
But yeah, but you know
But yeah, but you know any like I would love I
Would hold on careful
Very free this hold on
interesting drugs
Within our price budget would be fun. Yes, and then we could do an episode on it. We'll call it DNA
Just pharmacopoeia. That's totally not so let us turn this into Hamilton's pharmacopoeia
Just fucking wish just fucking enable me to do psychotics
psychotics
psychedelics Jesus
Antisychotics to hell yeah, I'll give him a shot. I'll get us some risperidone. Hell. Yeah
But yeah, but yeah, no that's that's if that's something you know interested in it
And if it's not I'll still use that fucking money is the thing here's the thing this year
We're gonna get a San Pedro cactus. Oh
I'm so down so and we're gonna spend a patreon money on it, and I mean you just eat them, but yeah
Okay, you let's make the tea. It'll probably be easier to handle easier to chug. Yeah having to chew
Yeah, and when you chew it makes you a shit because it's super fibery
but we need to get a
goddamn San Pedro cactus and
Just start I so there's an entire right in the middle. This was what I did. This is my last week
I found a subreddit where they just it's just people growing San Pedro cactuses
That's it, and it's like super wholesome. Nobody talks about the trips. Yeah, really. They're just like cool cacti, okay
It takes ten inches of this for one dose. That's about as much as they say really
Yeah, it takes a lot at least in that specific
Strain because they're a bunch of different kinds and they were just doing you know
splicing them doing those like advanced grow methods and shit one person was trying to find the little button mushrooms the
Mescaline hmm yeah trying to find those, but they're super rare
And they take forever to grow and one of the last shamans who was growing them just died
Yeah, so the supply is in really it's in really low supply, and it's endangered now, so
But it was super cool. It's just reading all these things and seeing the pictures where they'll just have like
dollar store cactuses cacti
And they'll cut the tops off it and then they'll be like oh my god
No, they'll they cut the tops off it put them next to each other, and then they're like I found there was a San Pedro
Cactus in this yard when I was driving by this random person's house
So I went up and cut a little piece off of it
And then ran away, and then they put it on top of those two and then it can grow okay from that
You can kind of splice it huh super cool interesting, but yeah
Hey, if you own a San Pedro cactus you should want to send us a slice
I'll I'll you can I'll give you my home address
Hell yeah good shit, but I guess
We've been we've been lollygagging
I think we were talking like 45 minutes before no I'm like easily an hour and a half. Yeah
It's nice. We want to get caught up. We want to go camping really bad
Yeah, so badly like I'm trying to justify like I could go next weekend
But it's snowed. There's a squall. I'm like a night probably go like fucking Easter weekend
Yeah, yeah, and then I don't have to go to any of the family fucking events. Yeah, sorry. We're camping. Sorry
Sorry, no cell service. I didn't get a I didn't get a snapchat from team snapchat
That said happy Easter to remind me. It's a holiday
Oh
So what you got what you got today? I am become death destroyer of cows
Do you know the original quote I just said it it was so it's Oppenheimer. Yeah, oh yeah
I did say that earlier. You said that earlier, but I know I'm death destroyer. I know I've heard that
He I don't know a lot more about it so turns out ex-nazi
Robert Oppenheimer
Created helped create the nuke. I don't know if you hold on give me give me one sec
I'm not the movie not the 2023 movie that I haven't actually
It's not come out yet. Yeah, okay. I was like I thought that would be on my radar
Okay, he was born in 1904
I probably like I was like I got a cuz I so many of the
It doesn't say where he was born
So many of the nuclear scientists post World War two were ex-nazis of course and with a last name like Oppenheimer
But his first name is Robert so
Hold on give me a sec. Oh, yeah, he was born in New York City never mind not ex-nazi
But he definitely worked with some Nazis, and he was okay with that so whatever you heard it here first
not the
Oppenheimer
Wait
His thesis was in German maybe he was born in New York, but he's still German parents
After the war I don't care after the war ended early life here we go
You guys are getting a nice exclusive look he's Jewish us right Jewish
You piece of shit on the opposite side. I'm so you know what before the next episode. I think actually immediately after this
We're gonna watch
We're gonna watch 21 Jump Street to help
Help
You like I'm thinking of verner von Braun
Oh
No, let me just fucking can we just restart this skip back like five minutes
We'll just continue where we left god damn. I totally
Nazi Oppenheimer
I was thinking of verner von Braun we're gonna wasn't on roasted good fucking timing talking about Oppenheimer
Shit that movie's gonna come out. We're gonna get lynched
It'll be the second time work off fucking
Rats it's okay. He said now. I am become death destroyer of worlds
Because you know he basically made a nuke there you go. That's the simple thing
He was Jewish, but it also said that he was Jewish
He was Jewish, but it also sucks that he
Fucking didn't like he was also okay working with like Von Braun and all the other operation paperclip dudes
The best is that all of this is just exposition. It really is not the episode
It's just because I like just you just fucked yourself. I'm explaining the title of my episode. I haven't even started
Oh god, this is we haven't had a clusterfuck episode like this minute whoo
Well, I gotta finish my gamers. Yeah shit
All right
This is also just a complete side note. I have at the very top of my notes
It says total side don't be an anti-semite. I'm reading it right now Kanye West
So the US during World War two had an anthrax weapons program
Figures make sense they tested those there five their stockpile of 5,000 anthrax bombs in Mississippi and Utah
Which makes fucking sense?
It also fucking sucks because anthrax is one of those
spores yeah, right
It's one of those spores that is very hardy it can survive in the environment
For a good amount of time. Okay, we're gonna start the episode
We're 20 minutes in and we haven't started the episode I'm so sorry. It's gonna be a short one. I promise
I mean from here on out. Yeah, so we'll be fine February
February
February it's got an R there, but it sounds like I got mush mouth February February 10th 1882 sir Paul Gordon
Gordon Phyllis was born in Kensington. God damn it. He's really
He's kind of pretentious, but let's just fill this fill this if I LD
This nuts
Oh, this is a bad fucking episode
We're not for an hour
I was having problems with Photoshop doing the
Thumbnail, but goddamn we wore we wore ourselves out before we even started. Okay, we're two old birds
Yeah, fucking wearing ourselves out chatty Kathy. Yeah, he went to Winchester school
He studied surgery
You doing okay over there
He was dumb fucking day. Yeah
He studied surgery at Trinity College and god damn. I wish it was like this
He received a bachelor degree in surgery what and was allowed to practice surgery with a bachelor degree
like now you have to get a
PhD a medical PhD and then you have to go back to school for surgery
Nothing like two years of gen eds and two years of surgical class of doing surgeries on cadavers
Jesus and then so in World War one
He's a lieutenant camp
a lieutenant commander in the Royal Navy Volunteer Reserve he works at
a
Hospital does a lot of surgery and he's made an officer of the order of the British Empire
Which I I got kind of confused reading about his life because he has a lot of like
Awards and he's membership in the order of this and the officers of that and turns out they're all just like
ways for British men to jerk each other off
Fill this nut fill this sir fill this nuts her fill this sir comma fill this nut and
He apparently made some contributions to arts and science because that's how you get to be an officer of the order of the British Empire
Oh
Big boy pants right here, so he you know he did contribute pretty a good amount to like
Medical science during World War one a lot of advances were made yeah, okay, whatever
Yeah, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt
Then he started no he's no fun brawn. Oh, yeah the renowned shoe
Oh
No, what are you doing? I don't know I know better
Now now we can't fall under the fucking history
Genre yeah now now we're what have you done? It's gonna be flagged with a
COVID misinformation alert
Because I
The Jew the New York Jewish man Oppenheimer
I
Swear I was thinking about burner bone brown oh I swear to Christ okay
He then you know after the war because he wasn't actually in combat. He didn't really get a lot of PTSD
Like most people in World War one he works at London
Hospital as an assistant bacterial back back
Bacteriologist okay
And he's doing a lot of research he eventually moves to the Middlesex Hospital, which I only kept in for the name hot
Where he did a bunch of research on?
bacteriology
Okay, and so far I see his yeah, I see the direction
He's going he works with a dude by the name of Donald Woods and together
They discover the mechanism of action of sulfonamides sulfonamides sulfonamides
sulfa drugs which are similar to like
Penicillin it's like a wide-range antibiotic
So that was that's really cool. That's a that's a
I mean, and this is coming from a guy that just got his bachelor's
So it's proof that if you went to school for 12 years for your PhD
You're an idiot fuck you you could have just gotten a bachelor's. I'm probably gonna get a PhD
Thanks a lot corporate America for forcing people to get PhDs when they could do this this
Studying with just a bachelor's do you think I can go from a bachelor of science to nursing?
to a masters of anthropology I
and then a PhD of
anthropology
Maybe we'll see the shot. I don't want to write the essays, but luckily we have jet chat GPT now
All right, World War two work comes around and you know, he's he's a pretty well-known scientist
He's pretty well renowned. So he
claims because there's a lot of a
Lot of information was hidden. Is this gonna fall out? No, okay. A lot of information was your dick hidden about this
Yeah, it's it's still in there. He claims that he worked in
Operation anthropoid, which we've talked about we've touched on it
I don't think we've done a full episode on it, but basically
it's the British
helping check
resistance agents to assassinate assassinate
Reinhardt Heydrich
Apparently like I don't remember exactly what happened, but they granaded his car apparently those grenades
It was top secret, but those grenades were also full of botulin. Oh
So yeah, he ended up just dying from the grenades. So he never really got the same
The botulism symptoms. One of them was gonna get him. Yeah
And so he claimed that there it's really hard to verify that
Because a lot of that information is still just unknown
Yeah, like usually governments don't just own up to assassination plots. Yeah, especially not Nazi governments
Well, I mean he was working with the British government
Oh, I thought he was I thought they were working to kill. No Reinhardt Heydrich is a high-ranking Nazi
Okay, you should have known by the name Reinhardt Reinhardt Heydrich
Well, oh well, come on you should have known by the name
European names all sound the same. I'll say it. No, I'm just I do know okay
So 1940 he gets put in charge of
the it's just called biology department at port and down, which is
kind of a
It's had a lot of uses over the years, but it's basically like an our equivalent would be an FBI lab
Okay, it's like the mi6
military
esk
research shit, okay military research facility pretty much yeah and
His job was I'm gonna study biological weapons
offensively and defensively if we get attacked, what do we do if we want to attack what do we do?
Okay. Yeah, I think it's a solid approach. He he immediately started off by
Stockpiling the shit out of anthrax and testing it
A bacteriologist was like, yeah anthrax. Let's let's get a lot of this shit. Oh
And he helped actually produce
The first working anthrax bomb in 1942. So that's his focus
What a great guy we're gonna skip ahead a little bit after the war he basically just went back to university life
Became a professor wrote a bunch of books did a bunch of research
Pretty boring life after that, okay
But in 1942 he was put in charge of operation vegetarian
Okay, which has a great name
And he was put in charge of
Which has a great name and
He was ordered good old paul good old fieldies
He was ordered to find
And put together a list of suppliers
for the biology department
He needs some specific chemicals
He needs more anthrax
And he needs a cake supplier
What the fuck?
And then he needs
different companies
for different steps of manufacturing
The
Yeah, so he basically had to find someone who could make an industrial amounts of cakes made out of with linseed
linseed cakes
It sound like they'll make you shit
the whole idea
Was to use this military research center
To bake a shitload of linseed cakes
Inject them with anthrax
God damn it fly them over germany drop them
And hope that the cows eat them
What?
Because then the cows would die. Yeah
And there's a huge portion of german food production and cripple the army if you can't eat you don't have an army like
Damn so like okay. This sounds like a great idea like on paper. This is great, right?
Yeah, yeah, we definitely talk about some of the shortcomings of this plan here soon, but
So they they had to bring in like designers to design specialized containers
To prevent contamination during transport. Yeah
But they also had to be accessible by cows
Oh my god, dude, what the fuck they
Like they had to alter plane delivery systems like bomb doors and shit to drop the cakes without
Breaking them. Yeah, because you break it and it fucking
Somebody goes to clean the goddamn plane and you're all dead
And then it gets spread everywhere. Yeah huge issue. So
And they start stockpiling more supplies more anthrax linseed oil. I assume on some linseeds. I don't know
They they eventually contract out with olympia oil and cake company. How convenient oil and cake company
And they start making linseed oil cakes
linseed oil cakes
How convenient
Olympia oil and cake company. Where is this based? UK
Only in fucking only in the UK. I swear to god look oil and cake company
I wrote that out and shit myself on the table
Congrats for all the people that live in the UK
But for fuck's sakes all of your companies are the weirdest goddamn things on the planet
Yeah, so I was like how this company was made for this program. It's oil and cake
Jesus and then they're like, okay. Well, we need somebody to cut the cakes
So let's contract out j&e atkinson who was a soap beans and gasoline. Yeah
No, it's cake cutters incorporated
Now but j&e atkinson they're the soap maker so they have the big machines that have the wires that can cut shit. Yeah
And they're hired to cut the cakes
Into 10 grams each. It's 2.5 centimeter diameter. So they're these little
Circle cakes a little dominoes lava crunch cake exactly. Yeah, that's it
You don't want the lava. The lava is anthrax
That should have been the fucking the image for the episode the volcano cake
Oh god, so then they they were you know, all the geniuses behind this program
They're like we could use flare shoots to drop them so that it slows them down, but it's not super visible
Uh, I've got a cousin who runs a pork company runs it. They also make flares in the back
flare shoots
Uh flare shoots and cardboard box company or something because because the geniuses
Determine oh you use a flare shoot
We're gonna make cardboard boxes for each little cake
And then but the cakes they're also gonna have a steel long handle so you don't have to get too close
They all sound like fucking it sounds like a cover company olympus
Olympia sounds like a cover company that was just the government was like, okay
We need these two things oil and cakes. Uh, we need two things. Let's make a company. They
They produce those two things. We need another two things. Oh, they do those they fill those for us. It's crazy
God damn it. So the goal this is early 1942. The goal is
5.2 million cakes next they're gonna need by april of
1943 the next company handles livestock and parachutes. Yeah weirdly enough
Uh one one's uh airplane retrofitting
and cow dietitians or something
Consult a consulting agency. Yeah
Damn it. Okay. Sorry. What was that last line you said genius. I don't remember. Oh
That they're yeah genius plan is cardboard boxes with a metal handle
What that why they're not what to be perished shot down? Yeah, and then the cows can get into the cardboard
And just
Stomp the anthrax into the fucking dirt
Yes, but the the steel handle is so that they could it was a long steel handle so they could like move the boxes without getting too close
Yeah
So why not just fucking inject the cows at that? Oh even better to retrofit the airplanes
They used a wooden tree system
So they're like, you know gomer pile over there with some two by fours and a hammer was like I can I can make a
Bomb dropping pretty cakes says he just has one of those shit shovels. Yeah, and just fucking throws off the plane
Yeah, that's the whole thing. God damn it
It just seems so like they tried to do it so quick that they contracted out a bunch of shit
But to make five over five million cakes, that's gonna take some time and the timeline is a year
They could have taken some time
To not use a wooden tray system like they could have retrofitted something
from existing planes
without utilizing the wood
That is being rationed because this is like Battle of Britain shit. Yeah
God damn it like they they spent so much like
It's fantastic. So just thinking about the operation you're gonna drop, you know getting past all that shit
You're gonna kill off a bunch of cows in Europe
You're gonna kill off a bunch of cows in Europe. It's not just gonna kill cows
It is not just gonna kill millions of civilians will die from infection
Yeah of the anthrax like either the cow dies and they see it or they're starving
And it it contaminates their crop their field the groundwater
The people that handle the fucking cow cow and go home to their wife and kids
And just it just starts spreading and you know, it's a hearty bacteria
Mind you when a child walks outside and a cake box falls from the fucking sky
Yeah, and the kid eats it. Oh, you know, I don't fucking know
Jesus christ and there's no real way at this point to
control the spread of anthrax in the environment like
And we get into like the environmental control of anthrax. I talk about that later. I'm telling you right now
There's not a good way to handle that shit, especially on mass how they're doing. They're controlling the spread of anthrax in 1942
They're controlling the spread of anthrax in 1942
So it like off the bat to me
This is complete insanity that they would even consider doing this because it's stupid
It's it's not even gonna it's a big thing with biological and chemical weapons that they learned in world war one
Is that you can't target them?
If you do a gas attack and the wind shifts direction
You know how many times the germans in world war one gassed themselves or the french did or or uh,
The british did or the polish bombed their hometowns. Yeah
You see the fucking issue
With god damn it and then suddenly so it's it's like 1942
Let's anthrax germany so that when we eventually have to do a ground invasion of germany all our troops die
Because they're also either eating the local food or marching through fields or setting up tents in old pastures
You know
I said it earlier
This is why you don't have someone with just a bachelor's do phd work. Yeah, I
I definitely that's definitely what I was talking about earlier. I'm not flipping the script. I'm not changing the way that i'm thinking now, but
Homie all these guys needed to take an ethics course or something like critical thinking skills
They go weren't taught their their whole idea was holy shit
You know what killed those fucking terrible nazis that are killing those jews like you know what we should do to them
We should just purge their entire fucking nation like over civilians. We should kill all their fucking farmers
Let's kill all of them and then deny it happened almost like a hollow cost
We should just plague that whole country and if it if it kills all of our troops in the process
So be it at least they're gone. What the fuck it is. It's completely insane. Oh my god, dude
just I feel like
one one fucking
person with like
any semblance of like
What the fuck anthrax is
Walks into the room and looks at the chalkboard and is like you're doing what use me
Okay, wait, do you do hold on you do realize where this might end up and they're like, oh fuck
We totally did. In our drinking water? Oh shit. Oh shit
And I just I just can't
Like it feels like this is an act of desperation
You know like there's always that the the army is retreating things aren't going well
And they just do everything they can yeah, this feels like an act of desperation on this but
like
It's over a year to get this plan into action
At this point just fucking mail adolf hitler one of your cakes. Yeah, that's a there's a better chance
That ends the war in a safer manner
It's not an act of desperation because it's being planned slowly. Yeah, it's being it wasn't like they put it together in a week
It wasn't like they put it together in a week. They're not retreating. Yeah like
Lord
This is just honestly, this is just a fucking test to see
What like if they can do something like this in the future?
Honestly, there's a lot of data that came from this so
What do you do if we ever need some additional oil
You know a good place to drop some fucking yeah to draw some anthrax cakes and feed their kill off their livestock
but potentially rendering the
the entire area
Impossible to live
The middle east. Oh, yeah, fucking god damn it, dude. So that's what's in the back of their minds. Well, here's the thing you're
You're british
You're part of this. No, hear me out
I wouldn't insult you that way
So
You're an imperialistic society
You want to do some chemical or biological weapon testing?
Where do you go? You want to commit war crimes? Where'd he go? Scotland? I was gonna say russia
Close but they were allies at this point
So god damn it. Yeah, so they go to scotland specifically
Grunard island, let's say
Because I don't know how to pronounce it
The uk's like why don't we just do it on our own soul? It'll pretty much they're like, okay
Go to our island. I can test it. It's a local. Yeah
Keep it local. It's so nice. So they they find this island. They're like, this is the best place. Nobody lives on it
It's got a couple hundred acres on this island. It's perfect
They didn't you know consider the fact that it was still being used by the locals before on the other side of the water
It was a suit like a lot of fishermen went out there even
some sheep herders went out there occasionally and
Like it was a popular like picnic spot like if you were gonna have a nice day nice cake you can yeah
Nice cake nice part cake
Yeah, you'd go out to this island and you could like kind of take the day to be there with your girlfriend
Or your young family and it's just kind of a little place to get away for the locals
So they say get the fuck off that island
We're the British. We're cake bombing it. They fill the island
They put 60 sheep on the island and they just start dropping anthrax bombs
The bombs are full of a slurry full of anthrax and they're just bombing the shit out of it for months
And I mean they they end up continuing test on the first test all the sheep are dead within a couple of days
So they go on the island and they wait here. Maybe we need to do another test actually
Yeah, they 100% did but they they went on the island in protective gear and shit and they like buried the sheep and they're like
Oh, we don't want this, you know poisoning the environment or anything
I'm gonna go get decontaminated
And they yeah, they start dropping bombs over the next couple of months and then
Farm animals on the mainland start dropping dead in Scotland
She's like, oh, I wonder what's going on
There's there's some kind of plague
Maybe an illness a disease and they yeah, these farm animals start dropping it for months turns out
One of the sheep bodies they buried
There was a storm and it washed up on the other side in the town
My guess is some asshole just threw it. Yeah, they were like, I don't want to dig another hole funk gross
This will just end up in the fucking trash island in Japan
Fump fump. Yeah, so
They ended up testing for almost a whole year
in
1943 they were like, oh
Wait, now this is a danger to the local population. Let's stop test now that we have our data. Let's stop testing. I
It's yes. You love to see it. Oh, yeah now because it gives us a show. Yeah. Well, yeah, exactly
So the island ended up being quarantined for 50 years. Holy fuck. They would go on periodically to test if there's anthrax
Oh anthrax. All right, let's leave the only thing that changed
Was that in it was like 1989 89 by the way, they started mixing the seawater on the island
With formaldehyde and then they had to drench the island
It took a whole year to drench the island in formaldehyde and seawater
Until the samples started coming back negative for anthrax
So to kill off the anthrax that had been placed there 50 years prior
They had to use
Industrial amounts of formaldehyde for a year for a year soaking the island for a year
Can you imagine soaking for an island for an island for a year? So don't for a year. Oh my god
Don't fuck with Mormons
Oh, yeah, uh, don't fuck with big dead bloated cows kids
Yeah, really don't know. Holy shit. So yeah, I just thought that was at least at least no without gloves
Yeah, they were gonna cheese ass and it probably would have just stayed
Contaminated forever like sure if they didn't specifically spend millions and millions and millions of dollars
God damn hosing off an entire island of like 520 acres
So where where did the fucking whole project go? So 1943 was the goal?
Okay, they got the case over five million cakes packed ready to go. Probably a little bow on top of each box and
The planes were modified sitting at an airfield everything's ready. They got the crew
They got everything and the reason you're not taught about this war crime in
In elementary school is because the Allies won the war. Well, it's spring 1943
So like two years a couple years. Yeah, but the US is in the war and shit like that. Hold on
Let me let me I think I I think I typoed
my
Your year, I typoed one of my notes. Give me a second operation vegetarian
Because I a pedia can't pull up the Wikipedia scroll to the bottom last section last paragraph
Okay. So yeah, it was ready towards the end of
1943
Where the notes go there they are so spring 1944 everything's ready stockpiled, but I can't do it yet
Because all the spring grass and grain and shit is out there
So the cows are gonna look at the cake like why do I need this? Yeah
So they're gonna wait for summer
They're gonna you know cows will go to pasture eat up all the good food and they'll be tempted by the cakes by a nice
two-year-old
linseed oil cake
100% Oh, I didn't even go into how they got the anthrax into the cakes
Yeah
So, you know, they hired all these different companies had all this different machinery and safety procedures and then a guy with a syringe
13 women with a syringe
You were you were right. This is like fucking radium girls. It really is just an amalgamation of all of the dumbest fucking
13 women filled a 5 million cakes by hand
with vials of
Fucking they they have an oil drum
Yeah, they got that they got from Olympia oil poured it all out filled it with anthrax and they're just
They just they did it by hand. Yeah, they just absorb
Fucking push it out. What are they?
Spent it out. It's more
That I couldn't find any evidence that they ever got infected or exposed to be fair
At least the fucking anthrax didn't glow or else you'd have 13 dead. God damn women. Yeah, exactly
Thank Christ God, dude. What is that?
So good that is so ridiculous. They have soap cutting machines. They have industrial cake makers. They have barrels of oil
And they're like you 13 women who used to work at the soap company because they used to be the soap makers
They're actually they're not making soap. They're actually all the radium girls. Yeah, they're doing this job back there. They're moonlighting
They didn't have jaws. It was really weird. That's why they couldn't
Yeah, they tried didn't work but like you won't be able to use a straw in this fucking vat of anthrax
So basically the biology department went to the soap company and said hey, you're cutting cakes now
It's a military contract and the company went okay
We're gonna fire the soap makers because we're not making soap and then they went oh, I hear you 13 women are looking for work
How about we hire you at half the rate or something? I don't
Know what they got raised. Yeah, they definitely got a little bit of hush money. That's they had to have
Or it was one of those. Oh, it's my honor. Yeah. Yeah that existed as a local British
It's all honor to work for to work for the military. I like that. It's always like cockney
Yeah, it's always just the dirtiest grimey. It's fucking piece of shit British person. I'm sorry
I'm just all of our new UK people. I promise. It's not always like this
Yeah, we usually just dump on the Serbs and the Germans. Yeah here we are
All right, so everything's ready to go
Oh, no
And the plan is okay it has to be quick because they don't want the Germans to figure it out and then just go around
And pick up the cake boxes
I mean if they touch the cakes, you're in love, but it's in the box with the big metal handles on it. So yeah
they
So the plan is they're gonna fly from Oldenburg through Hanover
It's 18 minutes they can fly high enough and quick enough that
flak isn't a real issue like flak cannons and
Anti aircraft guns the box on the side they before they shipped him off. It was a big stamp that says not for American use
No, it's just got a swastika on this side
And only four Germans yeah in English
So this this 18 minute flight path would cover 60 miles of grazing land for cows
They're probably some homes scattered through there. Oh, yeah
Definitely. Can you imagine you're just hanging out at home and like box land boxes landing all like you're bouncing off your fucking roof
You go out is that one of them falls and splats on your window?
I'm like, what is that cake you're gonna wipe it off and you're dead. Yeah, you're just dead
and
They so they're they're getting ready to do this and D-Day happens
And they're like this should have just done it D-Day would have distracted everybody. Well, then they were like
We have a lot of troops and and the US has a lot of troops
I'm gonna be moving through this area that we were about to carpet bomb with anthrax. Maybe we shouldn't let's put it on hold
Oh, yeah, let me tell you let's not approach my note right here
Says lol somehow D-Day saved Germany
Yeah, oh no, so
D-Day happens and Germany is not bombed with anthrax and
Mass starvation does not happen yet
Oh
They they really were like they were kind of pushing to use this cuz they're like we did all this this cost so much money
To do all this we need to use it. Oh, there's like we're pushing into Europe our ground troops
They're there like they're gonna eat. Yeah, the Americans are gonna open that up and be like, oh cake
Just like my mom back home in Kentucky
I wish you put in that we need the Minecraft eating sound
You fucking you really blew you fuck the pooch on this one cuz you should have clickbaited the title
Yeah, how D-Day saved the Nazis? Oh my god
We'll do it as a text
Text that's good. Just type that one in so that it's easier to find on SEO and hell
Yeah, and then everyone will hear the other title. So yeah pretty much
D-Day
Jesus Christ and the cakes just stayed in storage D-Day saved the Nazis from war crimes. Yeah
But imagine how D-Day would have gone if half the population half the civilian population was dying from anthrax
I feel like they're their focus would definitely be elsewhere. Yeah, and you know, I'm gonna say
Let's go on the record. Let's make some bold claims on this episode
The Nazis did some really fucked up shit
But I'm willing to say that a good portion of the civilians probably didn't deserve to get anthrax
Is that a fair saying?
Political for me to say pretty safe assumption
Is that a safe assumption? Okay, that's good. Cuz you know, you know what the fucking
UK's luck with Britain's luck. They would have dropped those
They would have dropped those cakes in London. No, no, no, no, no, no even worse. It would have blown the cakes
directly in Auschwitz and
They would have fucking killed everybody there and then
Some some Nazi scientists would be like, okay, these cakes killed all the Jews here
We were mad that they were being fed but
This is a good idea. What the fuck is in this they would have discovered it and been like I mean ship
somebody somebody trademark this and ship it to every concentration camp and yeah the whole cake but the
Yeah, the real thing that I the real knowledge that I take away from this is that everybody had anthrax
But nobody wanted to use it first
It's a good except the British. They were totally willing to use it first like the as I mentioned at the beginning
America had like 5,000 anthrax bombs ready to go
Just in case because in World War one anthrax was used
Which is horrific fuck by the Germans Jesus Christ. So
Everybody had it. Everybody was developing it. It just nobody but nobody except for the British wanted to do it first
They were totally fine with it
Because they just had their butt handed to them at like Dunkirk
Bitter they were super bitter. So that Jesus Christ
So yeah, they the cakes hung around until after the war and then they said they incinerated them. I'm willing to
Like they actually just shipped them to Scotland
Yeah, they just threw him in the fucking ocean in the ocean honestly
They threw him in the ocean and then Argentina had a weird outbreak. They were like, ah, yes the world sewer. Oh
I just remembered that actually helped the it was used in World War one
The Germans would lace neutral countries cows
With anthrax before they were sold to allied nations
That was the plan Jesus
So like there was some I think it was Argentinian cows that were gonna be sold to I don't remember who but one of the allies
and
The Germans went in and were like, oh we'll put anthrax on these cows and then they'll die eventually
But first they'll spread it to the civilian
Whatever and they did they died like 200 cows died in one she's sitting and they're like, oh shit. We fucked up
But yeah better populate that country after the war
we got a
We got a genetically engineered our Aryan race to be resistant to anthrax
and
We know we're gonna end up there. Meanwhile, the proto geneticists are like
Bitch, we don't even know why we die from typhus more than anybody else
It's a call. He does a line. He's like he's like you poison what country's cows
Shit that's why I killed
Yeah
No, really
No, what what happened is at the bunker he he went went out cuz there's that photo that famous last photo of him
inspecting the city
From outside of his bunker what he found was just a box on the ground and he opened it and was full of cake
It was like oh Helga and her siblings in the bunker here would love
Some you know who loves cake kids Helga Goebbels would love this
So he brought it in fed him and they died and then he killed himself cuz he's like shit. I killed this girl
Their family. I can't live with myself. I'm the good guy
Oh, we just found the best fucking timeline ever. Oh my god
Well, he saw her die from it and then he was like I don't want to die from that boom. Oh, that's that
Fuck that slow painful death. How was supposed how someone's supposed to continue living and not trust a cake? Yeah
I was betrayed. I don't want to live in a world full of lies
died by cake
If I can't trust a cake who can I trust? Not that I was just gonna say it must have been some Jewish plot
It was a Jewish baker yeah, Jesus Christ, oh
Fuck okay. So what I'm getting is we need to record later
And talk for longer talk for longer before oh my god. Holy shit. Oh
All right, well
I don't know. I don't really know how to how to end that I think that's where we did
So if you guys would like an exclusive episode of whatever the fuck we did today
I don't blame you
Means it's on patreon. We have some a couple low-priced tears on there
We would appreciate it. However, if you guys can't afford it, I'm not laughing at you. If you can't afford it
I'm sorry if you can't afford it. Don't feel inclined to don't fucking pay us before your bills
No, actually do
Pay for my fucking ketamine therapy before you pay for your gas bill this winter
But yeah
Finance on patreon and check it out click around on there
There's I don't think there's anything on there if you're not a patron, but no, I just go to it
Just go take a look take a look. Yeah, but we have
eight
Episodes we have a bunch by this week nine. Well, we have a bunch of
Exclusive episodes we do an extra per month
We have these sloppy seconds that we did a couple years ago
Which were just some bullshit that we threw together
We just talk and shoot the shit basically the start of every episode
Yeah
Yeah, just in little 15 minute segments and AJ has
His voices series on there check it all out. It's really interesting
We do a little video walkthrough of our current studio. So by all means
Take a look see
Hey, Jay, you got the names pulled up. Nope
Not thinking you this I know sorry about it. I do though. Oh
Of course, we've got the board
Sorry
I'm dying many D Nordic Thunder Toddle waddle and Weston. Thank you guys so much for you know
For green lighting this episode. Yeah, in fact they the they actually told me to say Oppenheimer was an ex-nazi
You know, it sounds like the board. Yeah, honestly, they told us that that sounds like a board decision because they make those decisions
Yeah, they they approved the script. They outvoted us on that one. Yeah, but it was because I voted with the board
You wanted me to say that so and then of course we've got Abby AJ's third nut
Thomas dark runner these nuts and Laura. I don't think you named the board
I think you just I did I did I named them first and then I started talking normally I do it the other way
I'm trying coming up coming off guard. I'm switching it up to prove that we don't pre-record this even though we kind of should
Just have an entire it's like, okay, bye
Jesus we just have to update it every time we get a new patron
All right, but yeah, thank you. Thank you. Appreciate you
We really wouldn't be where we are. Oh, yeah, the microphone quality would be
season one
$20 USB microphone that we're sharing on a lifetime table in a closet be bad news bears
So we really really do appreciate your guys's help and contribution of the show
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