S6E15 - The Conspiracy Episode

I don't got time to mark this motherfucker. Here we go again. We can't hear anybody. Nobody can talk to anybody
You guessed it pressure points with your two favorite hosts on D. This is Bush boy AJ
We're coming at you a season 6 episode 15 the conspiracy episode
We're switching it up today with some space lasers for extra content find us on Instagram and patreon at points
Oh pressure strap on those aluminum hats and let's get to it cuties
Well turn the fucking thing off you dumbass
God I got my fucking dick hard bro damn
That was the sexiest intro I've ever done in my fucking we've definitely ruined it with this, but that was so good
Oh, that was so hot. I don't even care. No, that's that was great. We're done. We're done with the episode
Thanks for coming. Fuck. That's it. It's only downhill from here. Oh, yeah, we finished and both of us are just like
We're here panting fucking peaked now. Yeah now is the good luck of the end. Mm-hmm
Welcome back. Welcome. We've we've had a busy weekend
Yeah, it feels like it's been a lot longer than a week. Yeah, right last recorded. It's like oh shit
We're two weeks behind. Yeah, fuck. I had a very busy week. Yeah, we we went camping
Yeah, snow real snowy up to the ye old cabin. Yeah up in Idaho
There's a good spot. Yeah, I see but it was so fucking beautiful out there. So not damn. Oh
Pissing in the snow kind of sucked after that fourth fifth time after the 30-pack and we're just polishing off to be fair
You also you pissed about?
Triple the amount of times everybody else did combined
Yeah, because every time you would drink like a quarter of a beer you'd be like I'll go go pee
Oh, yeah, that's just me my kid my bladders doesn't I don't have a bladder
I just are you sure you don't have you don't have diabetes right now. I'm sure
I taste my piss every time to make sure it was more salty than it was so funny on Friday night
Because it was like every five minutes. I gotta go take a piss
Like I I'm telling you I
I'm I think something's wrong, but I'm too afraid to check
No, I
Like so I just do not I just pee a lot like I can hold it if I'm distracted
but if I've been drinking and
I'm just gonna focus on it and it's just gonna get worse and worse and worse
So I just try to stay ahead of it
Swap but man. No, it was fun. We played some really some games
My wife even just like two hours ago was like, alright, let's go down and play Baldur's Gate again
Really? Yeah, so damn that was good. Now that I'm like, okay
I kind of understand this a little bit more as you go
It gets a little bit like all right, like once you play through a few of them. It's like, okay
Yeah, you can come up with like better strategies and everything you start looking for like more specific items
Sorry. Well, what I'm referencing is a game called betrayal at Baldur's Gate
The
There's an original game from like I think the OG was like in the 80s
But they have betrayal at house on house on the hill, which is like a horror themed
Exploration. Yeah, like haunted mansion game basically
Really really like off the wall replayability is oh amazing enormous
But they have a Dungeons and Dragons themed one
That's betrayal at Baldur's Gate that I took up there and now it's still really fun
So much if you like board games and you don't know about them check those games out and make friends and play it with them
Yeah
Now we'll play it with you. Yeah, if you live within 10 square miles of this spot right here that we are
We're not gonna tell you where that is though. Send us your address rules goblin. Well, yeah, like me
But yeah, it was it was a lot of fun, dude. No, it was a blast
We we had a blast I ate a lot. Mm-hmm. It's good. Yeah, we had probably the fanciest hamburgers ever
Oh my god, they were like
Crying rib prime room burgers beef. I think yeah
They were good though. I'm gonna go upstairs and make the last one tonight
Right that fucker up. I'm gonna burn it. I'm gonna I'm gonna cook it in the microwave
Do it now pour a cup of water on it. Sue beat it
Yeah, Sue beat it but with hot water. Oh perfect like directly on to it. Just yeah with from the faucet
I'll just turn it on hot all the way put it underneath till it's done cooking
You have a new you have a new water heater. So doesn't have all those contaminants shit. Yeah, I'll turn it up
Let's do it. You're fine. Yeah
But these beers are this is gonna make for a burpee episode if I just stop talking at one point
It's cuz I'm leaning away in burping. No, you're gonna burp directly
And I know I won't because I I know a lot of people who listen to podcasts
Well, just a lot of people in general and there's overlap to those people with people who listen to podcasts who cannot stand
Like the sniffing yeah, the mouth noises and stuff which don't listen to this season one if you're one of those people
Yeah, also just don't listen to when we do patreon stuff because you do your big old cough every single time before you do patreon
Games every time do I yep every time? That's subconscious you go
Every fucking time
Just like that. Yeah. Yeah, I've never done that before in my life. Yeah. No, I even know that
Guy, it's a it's a high rendering of you. Yeah, then I slip in there
So we we drove home pretty early this morning
Yeah, it's a beautiful drive that you guys slept through fucking you guys. Hell. Yeah, it's honked out. That was awesome
We slept like shit last night. Yeah. Yeah. Why is that cold?
Yes, and I think we just couldn't get comfortable. Yeah ready to get home
Yeah, yeah, totally get it was like every like 30 minutes. I was just like awake. Yeah
But so yeah, it was beautiful. I took a little time-lapse of it. I'll show you show it to you later
Through some of the canyons, but we got home real early. I took a fat-ass nap
Same I slept for like four fucking hours same. Oh, I'll cover like 130
Yeah, I took a fat-ass fucking shower
Saying and I've just been playing big ambitions. That's the game. I'm currently playing. Okay
Have you seen that one? No. All right quick video game talk and then we'll get into the real episode
it's a
life business sim where you're in New York your
Family member has died. I don't remember who and your uncle is like, hey, here's ten grand
I'll set you up with a cheap apartment come to New York. I'm a business magnate
You know, maybe following my footsteps type thing. Okay, so you're you have to like try to build up businesses
To try to get money like you can get a job
But you won't go anywhere grow your wealth or anything
So you have to like take out loans build businesses stock them and like supply them, which is a real bitch and a half
and
I'm just I'm automating everything with employees the second I can which means they cut into most of the profit
Yeah, so I'm like damn I'm trying to save up for pallet shelves so I can start importing shit
Because the Doc's right down the road
See, here's the thing
You got to pull you got to pull a Google and an Amazon on Silicon Valley that whole thing and once you get like
Like you have a record-breaking year
Fire you have your big ol year. It's fucking massive in January
fire
65 percent of your staff. Well right now then you'll have a bigger year
But then you take that profit and you shift it into a different company
Don't do this and if you're if you're an actual fucking magnate and you're not in a video game
You have millions of dollars to throw around don't follow my advice. Yeah, this is shit
Don't be a piece of shit, but that's what you gotta do. You gotta fuck over the working man in the virtual world
I can't find there's there's an area for like business valuation
I can't find it and I just haven't googled it yet
And as soon as I do once my business is build up a valuation
Once I've had them for a year or so then I'm gonna see about
Doing exactly that firing them and then selling it and then
Renting out that building space because that company's gonna go out because they don't have any employees
And I don't think the like game is smart enough to do that
Yeah, so then I'll rent out that place again and put in a better store because right now
I would I have like a fucking like a gift shop and I have a
Burger burger and fries place. Okay, and like they're doing okay
I really want to make a jewelry store because there are no jewelry shops in my area
I didn't market research in this game
I if I did this amount of research I'm spending in this game in real life
I could actually open a jewelry shop. Yeah, except for the fact that you'd start out with a loan of $10,000. Well, yeah
I
mean when when we have a fucking face reveal in like six years people are gonna listen to these episodes and be like
Oh my god, this makes so much sense
You're gonna see our faces and be like, yeah, these are the two fucks that would play a factory game and
Grow a business. Yeah 100% and then not create a factory and not produce anything and not build a business
Yeah, but yeah, God it's gonna be real bad
There are no shops our faces, but the display cases not even the stock the display cases cost 10 grand each
I'm making like 800 bucks a day
Which is a lot in real life, but not in the video. Make it all fake jewelry
I'll just put on the floor
Yeah
And then take out insurance. What you should do is you should put out fake jewelry and they get into like the criminal
underworld of like jewelry theft and then start stealing your fake jewelry
It's not that kind of circulating that in the in the black market and talk about yo
This place is really easy to rob people keep robbing you but
Then you start like people see the headline
Any press is good press people are like, oh, yeah, those guys get robbed all the time. They have a limited supply
Boom, boom. No, if it's an alpha and I would 100%
By the game again if the developers were like, yeah
Now we're adding counterfeit goods because it's a shop in New York. Of course, you have access to counterfeit like Gucci
counterfeit jewelry and shit like if they added that like a black market type thing for supplying
Where it's like shittier quality, but you know you get for cheap
I would do that. I and I would I would buy it again. I would donate one month of patreon. No, I wouldn't know
It's not all mine. Yeah, you won't allow it
PayPal goes to my account. You can get fucked
Alright, yeah now that we talked about your video game for as long as we talked about it
All right. Yeah now that we talked about your video game for as long as we talked prior to that. Yeah, sorry. I was real fun
Camping was fun. Okay, I would come fully around to it was I
Spent the day driving home napping playing a video game and
Then I had to come up with an episode. That's fair and I have a lot of them
It's generally like every single week for us. Yeah, but it was worse this week
I have like there's this lady I want to do an episode on and she's like this
Anarchist from the late 1800s who was involved in she was like a Russian who was involved in the Red versus White war in
Russia like between the Bolsheviks and the Trotsky's I think I don't remember
Something like that and then she was like wow this system of communism fucking sucks
She then moved to America and was like wow this system of capitalism fucking sucks
I guess I'm gonna be an anarchist now and she was like close to somebody who
Assassinated a president in the US and spoiler alerts save it for an exclusive. I'm not I'm not gonna I don't know
It's too complex. It's too complex at this point if I get the mental energy to do it
I will but this is a good teaser give it for after winning graduate. Yeah, give it. It's definitely earmarked
And she was publishing like
books and
Pamphlets and shit. Okay in you know in a time period where women couldn't even vote yet
And she was influencing all these dudes to kind of like towards the anarchy to bone bomb shit
And you know what the more I'm learning about anarchy the more I'm realizing how it's been propagandized by the US
Like it's from my basic understanding without actually just looking it up. It's like
We can self-govern. We just don't need a government. Yeah, like
Cool, it's not unstructured. It's not anarchy as you would use it as like
You know to describe something like if something is
Anarchy, it's you know a pandemonium. It's crazy. That's not what it's like at all
Yeah, it would be like if we were
Totally propagandized
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's it's the government trying not to work themselves out of jobs
It would be like us doing an ad for the last
Podcast on the right
Yeah
At the end of our episode or just be pushing pushing a rhetoric that pushes fans away from my least favorite
My
My unfavorite my unfavorite killer
Yeah, don't go listen to them. Don't let those guys in fact if you like them
You should go on to their go on to their episodes comment and send them a message
Yeah, send people to us. Yeah, you should be like hey
This is my favorite episode on their subreddits and then link us
Hey on if you were if you're a true fan
Then you're gonna comment on every other podcast that you come across a link to our show
Yeah, what fucking TOS are we violating by doing this?
I mean fuck off none of them not a single one. I didn't sign shit. I didn't sign shit. I mean we did I
Mean no, I didn't sign shit. I was under duress
Thing when I signed that I had been drinking when I made this account
So I I did it so that they wouldn't ask me to suck their dick
So yeah, the hosting service under duress. Yeah, so it wasn't truly hold on. Don't talk shit about our hosting service
I didn't say their name. They don't know anything yet. I mean, yeah, they're not gonna listen to this
I don't even listen to this. Yeah, then I was going through a bunch of 70s like
politics and protest groups like I learned that there was a white panther party
That makes sense
Because one of the co-founders of the Black Panther Party was like hey if white people want to actually help us
You should form a white panther party. Oh, I was thinking it was
Exactly. I was thinking it was a KKK conglomerate. There was an entire section
There was like yeah, well you're the Black Panthers. Well, we're the white panthers
There was a whole section about how they've they had to clarify all the time that they were not
We're not anti-racist. We're anti-capitalist. We are the Black Panther Party, but with white people like
It really didn't work well because it sounds like it does part of the KKK
Yeah, and that's really why it kind of should have just called it the supporting cast panthers. There you go
Way better. Yeah, ally panther allies. The 60s and 70s is a really cool time in American history
Yeah, and a lot of people, you know, is building bombs in their basement like the weathermen
Creating the days of rage in Chicago and then the Chicago 7 which was the Chicago 8
And that that's that's some cool shit
The only thing I'm going to talk about the Chicago 7 and 8 because I want to do a full episode on it
Is basically they they got these eight people in for like traveling across the border with the intent to start a riot
And dumb shit like that. And then one guy was
I'm gonna I'm gonna represent myself and he kept calling the judge like a fascist pig
He called the cops pigs and shit and then he would say when the when the judge was like, hey, I'm holding you in contempt of court
He would be oh you're gonna do that. You're gonna stifle my right to to represent myself
It's not even the yeah, obviously like there are consequences to insulting a judge
But because he had the right to defend himself, he couldn't be silenced
So so the judge physically had him bound gagged and chained
And there were like three times that the jury came in for like three days and saw him like that
Despite him trying to defend himself as his own lawyer and the jury were so shaken by the fact that this dude is just like chained up
During his own trial that it started to influence the jury and he got off on a mistrial
Man, you know, he all charges were dropped stop fucking killing future episode
No, come on. These are tiny little bits of it. Like it was very like one of the one of the tiny bits of it
I'm saying I'm sprinkling breadcrumbs breadcums
To you know, I'm not gonna lie
I'm sprinkling breadcrumbs to you know
To make it seem enticing when in a year you hear about this story
You're gonna forget about this episode. You'll be like, oh, this is the first time this has been mentioned
Yeah, I mean I did that with the typist boys
I mentioned it at the beginning of the season or end of last season on accident spoiled the whole thing
But I waited long enough for you to forget
I mean, I'm not gonna remember anything exactly week unless it was
Yeah, and then it takes two weeks to forget. Yeah. All right, so pull up your phone and
Watch the pressure points story
And he fucking asked you if I needed to go to that page you should be on the top should be on the top
I did it's this yeah. Yeah, that's what we're talking about today. Do you like it? Do you like all the little emotes?
Yeah, I saw it like two hours ago when it was posted
Yeah, so, you know if you were also on our Instagram, then you would know the day before sometimes two days before
What we're gonna be talking about, you know, if you like teasers. Yeah. Oh
Oh before you even get into anything
If you want additional content, I know I say it in the intro
But if you want an extra episode a month, we have sloppy seconds
AJ is working on a series called voices
We have we looked forty seven pieces of content on our patreon bonus. Go check it out
If you can't afford it, if you can't afford it, don't worry about it. It's all good
At least click around on there. Take a look at it. That does any any traffic on it helps us out
If you can't afford it, then go to any large podcast comment and get people to ours
Just refer shill to us. Check it out. We would appreciate it if you can but if you can't
You listening is plenty of help. Oh, yeah. All right
Now that you've rudely cut me off. No, I'm just kidding. So today it's not quite a cop-out episode like we've done in the past
But I wanted to just bring up a bunch of very common conspiracy theories
For some reason I thought I said that wrong conspiracy theories. Yeah
In my brain it did not come out that way. It sounded like conspiracy theory
That's because I like trailed off really weird. You had a little mini stroke. I did it through it
And and just discuss them with D because I know you're on the up and up with all these conspiracy theories
Yeah, totally as a member of QAnon. Let me tell you. Yeah, I'm a member of Deon on
We should start that these nuts and on these nuts and on but you know, I also completely ignored
Any conspiracy theory that's touted by Marjorie Taylor green? Yeah, it's so you're not gonna get Jewish space lasers and the ridiculous bullshit
That's happened in it. Well for the most part I used to fuck around a lot with conspiracy
I think if they're interesting and it wasn't like like I wouldn't read like crazy into them. I would just be like, oh yeah
Like this is kind of weird and interesting and that's an odd approach but obviously
Conspiracy theories have tended to attract the wrong crowd the last few years
Which is why I'm talking to you about it. No, no, no fair. I'm not saying you're in the wrong
No, yeah, but the reason I haven't touched it in like three
Yeah, pretty much three years is because of like it's attractive
How fucking off the wall and like how like racist racist transphobic and homophobic
It is all become so fucking quickly. Yeah, all sorts of shit. So it's fair like if if you did conspiracy theories
More power to you. I mean, I'm not I'm not gonna sit here and like shame anybody
Because I really did enjoy them. I just haven't touched them as of late because
Reading fucking hate rhetoric really upsets me. Yeah fair enough
So I picked in shows and I even found you know stumbled across a thread on reddit
Of course, oh and they talked about like oh pre 2016 our conspiracy was not bad
It had some interesting like theories and ideas about the world even up to like 20
Twenty eighteen twenty. Yeah, there were still good stuff on there
But then it just seems like now it's just you went on shit now
It's like even today. I found one where it's like, oh this guy said this therefore
Biden's a pedophile or something. I don't fucking know like people it's ridiculous
Really fucking stupid. Yeah, it's so I avoided those kind of hit the point where like a lot of them are just so clickbaity
That it's like get the fuck out of here, man, and they're just so easy
Yeah, to debunk like if you can look at just the title of it and you go. Oh, yeah, that is bunk it
Okay, then it's not a good conspiracy theory. It's fair. You know, you're not Gary Webb
The CIA is not going to assassinate you
You're trash. I also feel like because of how things have gone the last like four years in in the United States
For those of you who are outside of the US I can't I can't speak to you about what conspiracy theories are like or like
How how you seek them out or how you avoid them? But um
Like seeking out sources for me this show alone has been the reason
Why I've stepped away from like reading anything along like or even just taking in conspiracy theory content because like
It's not that I get like really great source material for this but on some episodes
Sources are better than yeah, like there's some sources where like I'll read it and I'm like
Like I almost have to go into every episode with like like am I positive that this is what's going on?
Just how does it like how fucking bad the political environment has gotten?
How has this been altered with propaganda or things like that?
What sources can I trust versus not especially with what you're doing with the Serbia like series?
I am 100% sure it's a bitch and a half to actually sort through and find it's hard to find what actually happened honestly like in an unbiased way
It's interesting and I know that this is totally off the rails from like where you're going with all this
But it is hard to find like more information imagine sitting down and saying
Okay, I have five or six hours to put an episode together. I already know what I'm gonna do it on. I have an outline of what I want to do
and then you like fill to fill in the blanks to kind of like I
Don't know I totally break down exactly how I do all my notes because it's long and boring but
Like it's basically event event event event and then it's like okay cool. Let me find like a source that's about this specific thing
Fill in the details. Let me find something else about this specific thing fill in the details
When I'm done my notes look like a Wikipedia article but
It's one where like I'm bouncing through so many things and it's almost like
With a lot of this stuff and this is why it's been so interesting and I've just absorbed everything on Yugoslavia
Is that it's hard to find stuff that isn't like a book
Yeah, yeah, exactly. And that's how that's why my notes will like I apologize to everybody that's listened to it
And if you feel like yeah, like I just don't know like what happened that episode or it feels like I went over so much so quickly
It's because there's so much fucking content all like it's just so much going on
And it's like if I were gonna go into detail on every single little thing
We would have a 600 part series on the butchers of Bosnia. Seriously. But back to like having to discern
It's the same thing with just like reading about like current events and shit like
Because I have to be more I am so like tiptoe-y with how I read any news now
Yeah. That like and justifiably so obviously. Totally justifiably. But like I'll sit down and I'm like I'll see something I'm like
Like is that that's a bullshit and so I'll like bounce to like two or three different things and see if yeah
This is in fact like when I read some headline, it's like oh Joe Biden blessed 17 kids. I'm like, what the fuck?
Confirmed. Yeah, I'll go find like I go to Snopes. Yeah, every time I go to Snopes
I just I just Google it and see how many things I can find that coincide and if they're reputable sources
Whereas before back in like fucking 2016 I found something that was crazy. You're like whoa
Reading about fucking pizza gate shit. It's like, okay. I know that talking about that. Yeah. Yeah
I know that this isn't is gonna be pretty fucking preposterous
Mm-hmm, and I could go into it with entertainment because I was like, yeah
They're probably like 30 people out there that believe this and now it's like, oh, I'm not gonna get involved in this fucking community
Yeah, or have the community now. I'm not gonna have the algorithm think that I'm interested in this whatsoever
Yeah, it's it's crazy
Because at this point it is a community and it's an echo chamber. That was a long rant. Sorry. No, no, you're good
That's exactly what I wanted to get before we started talking about these so that you can be a shit and
Try to justify them like you always do so
I mean, you know, I wanted to make it extremely clear where we sat on the spectrum of these things and the autism spectrum. Yeah
but
Yeah, cuz you know pizza gate does come up. That's my second point. I would hope so but other than that most of these are
You know, they're just fucking they're all over the place. Yeah, they're all over the conspiracy theory. So it's like, okay
So
They're they're goofy and they're fun. That's just sad that people fucking believe them. Yeah, exactly cuz now nowadays it's like
five seconds of critical thinking skills and
90% of these are blown out of the water. Yeah, which is why I think they're interesting to talk about in this light where it's
How do people believe it? Yeah, like that's fair. How I don't know. So the first one that I came across that actually started this was
Someone was saying the state that state lotteries are invented to catch time travelers
Bro, that's why nobody wins the lottery love that and that's why if someone wins
They disappear disappear
Whoa
And that's why the lottery doesn't lose money because even if they pay out Wow, they just kidnapped that person cuz they're a time traveler. Yeah
Totally forget the fact that like people pay in to the lottery. Oh, totally whatever. No, that's that's irrelevant
Hold on totally forget that the there have been over 16 or a hundred and hold on
16,000 people who have won the lottery in the United States apparently so I don't know how true this is but I read a
Few weeks ago that like the whole idea of all the people that have won the lottery or broke within like the first four years. Yeah
That statistic is something is something from like the 90s
And it's just continued on it's like it's like police statistics and shit that they pull up from the from the 90s and they're like
Oh, yeah applicable and it's like I get that
Generally speaking
people that
Take care of their money that are like money conscious aren't generally buying a shitload of tickets 20
Lot of tickets a day that yeah, someone who shotgun affects the lottery is
more likely to
Be pretty fucking stupid with how they handle money someone that's like, oh, yeah, I dedicate $200 a month to lottery tickets and
$60 to my electricity bill like perfect those people. Yeah, probably not the most money smart people
But if you get that much money, I'm gonna hire an accountant. Yeah, exactly
I feel like there's so many people that are now aware
that like
There's no way that somebody that is like
Drunk on a Saturday. They stop to get fucking blunt rap. So they go buy a fucking lottery ticket
Then they win
It's like there's a good chance that there are a lot of people out there that are like, holy fuck
I can't believe this just happened. I'm gonna be smart about how I do this
Well, a hundred and sixty five billion dollars in the US has been paid out to lottery winners
Which roughly?
Averages to like ten billion dollars. Yeah per winner. Obviously, it's not that there are a lot lower and a couple higher and you know
But imagine yeah, imagine you get ten billion dollars right now
And then you lose half of it to taxes. So you got five billion dollars in the bank. I wouldn't give a fuck, dude
No, no, that's just like yeah, that would be difficult to spend in five years. I think yeah
I think that would be difficult to spend because I'm not you know, I'm not moving to California
I'm not buying a big old house. I'll just pay off my house. Yeah, dude pay off everybody. I know is car and
I'd still have here's nine point five billion dollars. Here's the thing
Like as much as I would be like, yeah, I want to help everybody out like yeah, I'd be like hey AJ
I'm gonna pay off your house
Like there's no way that you wouldn't know that I won the lottery
Yeah, I wouldn't ask for money. I would be so I'd be daddy fucking about it or books
I would I would be so secretive about it. It wouldn't be like, oh hey
So and so like family member number six like I have paid off your car
Like I think I would just do my best to reach out to their bank
Anonymously pay it off and then they're like, how the fuck did this happen?
And then like like six months later do the same thing to family member number four
Like I I think I would be so fucking silent about winning the lottery
Just cuz I it scares the shit out of me that like someone would just come after me
I don't want this. Well, I would get I would replace all the windows with bulletproof glass
I just want to be comfortable. Yeah
Pay off a house gonna probably dig a bunker out somewhere. I'd buy a nice cabin
I knew you would do the bunker a cabin would be a go-to. Yeah. Well, the cabin would have a bunker under it
It would be a plot of land and then I would just pay someone to build the cabin
The basic cabin that I want that I solar panels. That's it simple. That's all I want
Honestly, I just want to be comfortable. That is all I fucking want. I don't want to be exorbitantly wealthy
I don't want to you know, wear nice clothes and all that shit. No, that's just boring
Yeah, and then just have in the middle of nowhere. I'll just put like a million bucks in the s&p 500 who gives a fuck
Yeah, like fuck it
I'd bury a billion dollars in the woods somewhere and let people kill each other to find it
Okay, mr. Beast
But yeah, like I love the idea of the time travel thing
It's so great
But it's like out of this world my favorite thing about so many of these conspiracy theories is it's like some of them are practical like
Some of them are practical, but you know that there are some on there that it's like
you had
Like four people that got fucked up on PCP one night
And then they all had the same like the same little thought they're like
Yo
What if what if the lottery is to catch time travelers?
Somebody posts it and then those four people search it on Google like oh my god
There are people who think the same thing and then it just blows up. Yeah, and I fucking love it. It's so good and
One one thing that I always like pointing out when we're talking about huge numbers like millions and billions a million second is
11 days million seconds a billion seconds is almost 32 years
It's and so keep that in mind how much money we're talking about here difference, dude
But yeah, so I think these 16,000 people were the time travelers who didn't get caught who had an alibi
It's fair because they learned from the earlier guys who got caught
You know like every time there's a lottery it takes a long time for someone to win
So they catch a couple people and then the then the later people learn from their mistakes
Yeah, they catch on they catch on spare
They catch on spare plus if you're if you're a time traveler or if you are currently not a time traveler
And in the future you discover time travel. I'm just gonna tell you now don't do the fucking lottery
It's an easy way to get caught clearly. Yeah, what you should do is go way back and purchase a plot of land for
Very very cheap. Yeah, the government in the US will pay you to take land at one point and just like
Go back like just find your ancestor. Give me to them find where they started drilling for oil on that plot of land
Yeah, and then buy it like 20 years before for like 16 cents and then sit
until until the 1960s and then just fucking sell that shit. Oh
No, just you're an oil man
This is what you do you find the location the geographic location where the world's largest diamonds have been found and dig there
Ten years before it started to be mine. Just uh, just go find Elon Musk's dad
Yeah, have him walk you on like like just when he's just budding in an idea in his emerald mines
When he walks you in there just fucking kill him. You're saving all the rest of us
from dealing with his
And then you're gonna make so like fuck so much money. Yeah, and then because we gave you this idea
anonymously deposit
Whatever amount you seem fitting in my the passenger seat of my car into patreon. That's it into the patreon
Yeah, you an anonymous donation on patreon. Perfect. I like I like how this went from being a conspiracy theory to us
Conspiring to just us being like how to get rich quick if you're a time traveler
Yeah, and not do any work cuz we're lazy fucks. Oh
That would be so crazy if I got into my car tomorrow and I just open it in this bag of emeralds
I would shit my pants. Oh my god. I wouldn't even know what to do with it
I'd be like we're cancelling the podcast. No delete everything have to like fence it
That's cuz we have to prove where we got these emeralds
How the fuck would you explain that from this? I?
Found them. No, I I would I would make up a story be like my great-grandfather passed away a couple years ago
we found these
in
His cabin buried behind it and we like only give him like a quarter
Yeah, and then we go to two states over do the same thing. Just keep doing that
Yeah, and then just never tell any of your fucking relative. Oh never never fuck
Pizza gate okay mentioned it. Yeah, I'll give a brief rundown
Old shitty government people got caught on a phishing scam
phis I sh ing fishing where they John Podesta
What was he campaign manager for Hillary Clinton something like that? Yeah
Very close ties to the yeah had a bunch of like oh
Yeah, and you know the private email server that was that was a huge problem for Hillary
Yeah, all of the Trump families had every single person had private email servers, so you know get that
but basically some emails were leaked and one of them was
It proved that there was a child sex ring as ran in the basement of a DC pizza shop
I think was called Comet ping-pong or something like that. Yeah, it's it's Comet something. I swear. It's something stupid
And that so like Astro pizza. It's it's something cosmic. I swear to God. Yeah, it is it is it's Comet. I know it's Comet
I mean the the email pretty much just says if you're looking for pizza in DC
This place is good, but it's written by somebody you could tell is older and is not super familiar with email
So like they're typos and shit. Yeah, but apparently but that's a code when they wrote pizza. They put pizzeria
Pizzas
If you remove all the letters besides C and P it spells out CP
Yeah, whoa, that means child porn. That's the old shit. You've been caught. Ah, so it was
It was picked up by a bunch of if you can believe it
conservative and alt-right groups and journalists who I say journalists very loosely
journalists that are
Even less so journalists than we are yeah, and then it was pushed through all the different Chan websites
You know the four chans the eight chans and you know, they're totally trustworthy Chris chans. Yeah
Yeah, and so they they spun the tail adding more details adding more
Yeah, photos and bigger evidence in quotes and people were just
Taking the word as gospel. I don't know why but they were just like yeah this website
That's been a hate group and running just shitty
Troll campaigns that lead people to kill themselves for decades totally reputable. Yeah, this is a good source
Yeah, there's a great source. So now they're getting traffic so they can make their their page look a little bit more official
It doesn't look like it was made in a seventh grade like computer science glass
So did you hear about the guy who went to the pizza shop? No. Oh my god
So some idiot was emboldened by all this coverage. He was like, I'm gonna kill myself
I'm gonna go save those children
And he probably flew from Alabama or something and he took a gun into DC a rifle
Kick down the door of this family establishment
Shot a lock on the back store room with the gun. So discharge a firearm shooting the lock. He opens the door to reveal
There's not a hidden basement
There isn't a basement in this building at all
Yeah, he actually found the secret recipe for Krabby Patties up there
And he was arrested and it was this huge fucking thing because he's in DC and because DC is an estate they have gun control
And
It was so funny like all the there were pictures of the like trapdoor into the basement where they were
You know doing this sex trafficking, but also it kind of started merging in with the
Satan blood libel, which we talked about on
Before and the adrenochrome and started merging into all this and
It just it morphed. This was like
The that was like early days. This was the start of QAnon and the adrenochrome
Okay, that kind of
This evolved into QAnon. This evolved into the adrenochrome kind of bullshit
Conspiracy theories that we see now like it this is what we're in right now
This is like second gen conspiracy theories and they're all trash and it's all politically motivated and it's all misinformation campaigns
Like I said, it all comes off as clickbait because of how preposterous all of it
It really is just like
Somebody in the Mississippi Delta got access to the internet for the first time and they're just shitting out headlines
Yeah, the algorithm knows they're there and they so they're being fed all this bullshit
And they don't know that you can't trust everything that's on the internet. They've never read anything that wasn't on a newspaper
Yeah, yeah, so
They've only recently got a rotary telephone
I should not there are people like I think I've mentioned this before on the show, but there are people in the United States that
Did not have like dial-up internet until like 2018
I can't imagine
Are you talking about the Amish?
Areas of the Mississippi Delta, which is basically just like a fucking dead zone of the US where it's like
I I'm not even look it up
So as you're listening and you're like, ah fuck off. This is another conspiracy theory. It is the Mississippi Delta and
it's like
borderline third world country like they're living in
Shacks like I
Read this whole thread on it and this one girl was like, yeah, I went to Mississippi State University. I grew up in the Delta
And I remember getting a phone call
And I was like, what the fuck and I answered it and it was her mom and she was like her mom was like
Ecstatic and was like, oh my god
We got through because it was the first time that that family had a phone like a phone line in the house
And when I talked to an old co-worker about it
I
I can't really say his name, but he was from Mississippi. Samantha. Yeah. No, he Jim and we worked with him and he married
a pilot
He doesn't have to work anymore. My girlfriend hated him. He worked with me up front
tall guy baseball caps
Annoying bitch. No nothing
No, no, we're here. He just tell me but I would give him shit. I'd be like, hey, you're from you're from the Delta and he would get so mad
Because he was like no those people like
They'll grow up till they're like 60 a normal person. They just will never learn how to read like it's crazy
And then in the no wonder racism is still alive
Yeah, dude, and like their areas of Arkansas that are almost as fucking depraved as that
There's an area in West Virginia in the Appalachians the Appalachians are oh, yeah, those are fucked
I mean, I'd love to hike there, but that's um
But I've watched like I've seen interviews of like there was a guy who went out there and met a family that they were all
like fourth-gen incest
Yeah, and like that's a lot of like mental shit. They're all like totally fucked up. He like meets him
He ended up doing like a big go fund me and got them like
Shoes
Yeah, it's crazy
But yeah, like it doesn't surprise me that there are people like this in the US that believe this stuff because
We're hitting a digital age and yeah
If you live somewhere where you have access to and you have money the Internet its location and yeah
Finances you'll you'll have a pretty good idea of what the fuck is going on, but there's a very
large population in the US
That just doesn't fucking get it. That's crazy. It makes sense though. Yeah, it makes a lot of sense
Yeah, do that. Imagine you go from like I said newspapers to suddenly you have
4,000 newspapers in front of you and you can just like it's not even doom-scrolling on Instagram
This is doom-scrolling fucking like newspapers
Sheets. Yeah, my microfiche. Yeah, but that so this pizza gate thing eventually involved into
Like it went further. I don't remember how but it was before that guy went and shot the place up, but they
There were like clips
Apparently there was this video on the dark web that nobody's seen but they know it's rotating on the dark web
It was right after the Saddam Hussein beheading video
It was a they they were saying that oh this video shows Hillary Clinton and this other person in
her campaign
Killing a child drinking their blood and then wearing the child's face like taking turns wearing the face and that's where the
Adrenochrome stuff comes from. It's just puppets. No, it's so apparently there were clips and the clips
Yeah, we're just you know, poorly rendered
six pixels
Yeah 128p and it was the other person who was wearing a mask
But it was a known photo of them just wearing a mask like it's insane
Like you can you can probably get an AI generator that that doesn't better that does it way
It looks way better than this alleged clip and that's the crazy thing
Is that all that AI shit is just so much better than the clip
The crazy thing is that all that AI shit is going to embolden these groups so much more because they're gonna be oh look at this evidence
Look at this evidence. I think about that that Hillary Clinton has seven fingers
Trust me fucking pope picture of him like a puffy coat and everybody like all these fucking Catholics went crazy for it
And it was AI. I it was very obviously at AI, but I have it on my computer
I look at it all the time because I really love
Combining is it a slobber back skins keys art with Anton Seminov just anything and just just combining those and I can just sit there stoned
And look at those images that I've sent you on Instagram. They're like two videos where it's like art that just morphs
Oh, yeah changes into something. I'd love that shit. It's so there's a cool one. I sent today. Okay, I'll check it out
So now I'll put it I'll put it on the pressure point story. Yeah, find it
I'll put I'll find both of them and I'll put them on the story cuz they're it's trippy shit. Oh, yeah
Next one classic. This is a classic
Vaccines are population control slash autism
It's rough because like our fucking first episode. I think we dumped on something
I think we did not our first or second episode second one when we talked about like our IRBs
And then the next one we talked about eugenics. Yeah, but but I talk about five seasons ago, bro
Yeah, the guy who we can start rotating. We just rotate episodes every every four years
We really do need to go back and do like every specific episodes on each of those we should
But so, you know, we've talked about it before the doctor who was like, yeah, I have all this research
Vaccines cause Down syndrome and autism and all these issues and then he was like, okay
Where's your data and he fudged it and then he lost his medical license and people are still following then and then he mysteriously died
He mysteriously disappeared, you know, no, I wish the world would be a better place if he did
but
You know, we're still seeing this especially with kovat which I get into after
but kovat was
So many people with time on their hands and access to echo chambers really fucked them up
But despite these population control vaccines that we've had for, you know, 100 years more in some cases
We hit over 8 billion people in the last couple of months on this planet
Population control their controlling population. Are they increasing fertility?
Because population is is up and up
There's been no drop
Despite the fact that in some countries are some countries are no longer at replacement level population is still increasing
Jesus which is insanity
then
It doesn't make sense to population control. Yeah, man
I think I saw a chart that it's expected that our population will peak around 60 billion
Before we just people can't survive anymore. And then the population growth slow as people die off and it kind of balances
I remember being in a I think it was middle school
And reading about the population hitting I think it was when it first hit like 5 billion and five or six
And it was like, whoa
Yeah, like I remember just not being able to comprehend and I thought all of it was in the US
Whoa, and then like finding out how like yeah, the US is a big portion of that population
440 450 million but it pales in comparison to like India and India. Holy shit
Like those two combined I shit you not are like what six not six. No, it's like it's like almost
India's a billion. China's about a billion. It's like 1.3 or some shit. Yeah, it's up. I think it's it's two or three together
They're pretty close to like a third of the world's population. Yeah, considering the land amount like it's crazy
And then like it doesn't make sense because rich people need poor people to convert poor people's life energy
Into this isn't a conspiracy theory. Oh, it's like is this leading into the next one to convert our life force into
Value that if this currency that we just invented
Like they need poor people to stay rich because if the rich people if everybody had 10 billion dollars money would be meaningless
Exactly. If everybody had zero dollars money, I mean obviously no money would be meaningless like they need rich people need poor people to feel rich
Yeah, bitches. Maybe more of us. Yeah, and they can make more money the more of us there are to exploit and then you know
Of course you get the COVID vaccines with the microchips or their
The code vaccines. My favorite was there for depopulation. COVID was a hoax that somehow millions
Maybe even billions of health care workers millions of government workers kept under wraps. Yeah, totally
Yeah, they all hit it. So meanwhile, I think the the common phrase is the only way for three people to keep a secret is
If two of them are dead humans cannot keep secrets. We would have heard about it by now
That's why those conspiracies where it's like new world order shit
I think are so bullshit because we would have heard about it by now like somebody would leak something
But it's crazy and then it's Christ and like I'm alive
COVID hasn't deep hasn't killed me like depopulated me to fuck up. You're sounding too serious on this shit
No, I'm saying I'm saying I'm dying. I know I'm saying like when you're like, oh yeah, COVID isn't real. It's like no
No, AJ don't fucking like even dip your toes in that side. I had it was horrible. I know
I'm just it always fucks me up. I know I don't take that
Don't take that out of context. I will I know you will yeah clip that please
Yeah, too late and I like the microchips and vaccines my favorite was a Bill Gates doing an AMA like I think was a couple
months after the vaccine had come out and
On reddit like if you sort of like controversial that was just all of them was about microchips and shit
I was like fuck off people with really because let's talk about it. What does a microchip do?
It's usually processes right processes data. I don't know
Look at my fucking phone. There's a microchip. That's basically like
But that's what was so preposterous about all connected to so much more shit microchips need sensors a power source
Data process no, no, it runs off of your blood flow
It's it's got a miniature turbine in there that and it's so small that you can't even see it's basically the size of a
Blood cell, but your white blood cells won't attack it. Yeah, exactly your immune system God somehow
They're giving the same thing to everybody but your immune system is like whatever then how does it get the data out?
Like is it RFID?
So you have to walk to your nearest Walmart for it to show up unless there's an antenna on there, too
And then it needs the power to transmit and receive like it's so stupid when you think about
How easy it is to just and have a cell phone? Yeah, exactly. Why would they do this? Why whole campaign?
Why would they orchestrate an entire epidemic to get data?
They already have when Facebook alone knows more about you than you know about yourself has basically made the NSA redundant
Yeah, like
Snowden you can come back like fucking God, dude. Yeah
That was my favorite thing. That's just like when they would talk about it. I'm like, dude
They like
The microchip yet it would have information about your body. I guess like I like what can you get inside a blood vessel?
It would listen to your conversations
Okay, so it needs a microphone. You know what listens to your fucking conversations all of your data your fucking phone
Your phone, your phone, your iPad computer. You know what has the actual pictures that you take?
Not your eyeballs. They're not like this microchip isn't gonna do brain scans. It's not gonna go into your eyes
It goes in and it's just copying and pasting fucking like brain activity
Yeah, like so in the medical field they have something that you can insert into an artery and it checks like your blood pressure your pulse your oxygenation
awesome
It's not a microchip and if that thing was just floating around your body you'd have a stroke and die
Like what is stopping this even if it's a you would caught so fucking quickly even if it's a microscopic microchip
Your capillaries get to one red blood cell thick
If it is exactly the size of a red blood cell
It would still get stuck and because it's not a red blood cell because red blood cells are can they can like they can be under pressure
They can work and please explain to me where the millions of microscopic fucking machines are being made
Like just walk me walk me and I get a job time where those are being made
They probably have bank holidays in a country that was having a massive decline in job growth like yeah
Where are all these fucking workers when everybody's working from home when they're mailing you all of the like
There's a manufacturing in your kitchen microscope so you can like solder them
They have bleach spray so you can put on there so that it doesn't kill anybody when it's put in their system because you were frying bacon right next to your fucking like
What the fuck is wrong with you
So I love it I love those ones those are the microchips are so good
When it's just like if we know anything it's that humans will always do the laziest easiest way and cell phones are that way
I will say though I don't remember what year was there were people that were actually putting like chips and shit into their palms
Oh yeah that shit's cool for like like RFID scanning and shit
Yeah you can put like your credit card in there
And I feel like they took that idea which like it wasn't like oh it's in your hand and it's not noticeable like it was like a bump in your fucking palm
These are amateur it was usually inserted at tattoo shops
Yeah
Like this is amateur shit
It was kind of cool shit I was like oh that's pretty sick
I read about one guy he was a like a contractor and he had them insert magnets under his first three fingers so that he could find the metal studs in the commercial buildings and shit like that
That's sick
Like he could pick up a screw just by touching it and I was like okay that's cool like I love like utilitarian shit like that has a use
Anytime he wants
But again that data is not being sent anywhere
Every time you pick something electronic device it's factory resets
God damn it
Sorry is that a credit card swiper? I'm paying with cash
I should have done the neodymium magnet shit
My personal favorite right now just from this group is that Donald Trump is still the president and Biden is an android that he controls
He is yeah
Yeah
We don't even have to comment on that one we can just move past it
Yeah fucking god
Here's another classic this is classic from you know first gen let's talk first gen conspiracy theories that has been altered a bit it's still around
Moon landing was faked
That one is it like that one surprises me
Yeah
But it's such a big one
You think the soviets would have done something about that if they thought it was faked
Like yeah
The soviets were tracking everything we were doing
If anything like wouldn't the soviets have like if that were the case wouldn't the soviets have just released like a propaganda film about them getting to the moon first
I mean they would have just released a film like it's just so weird to me that that one's like so big because
It's so insane
Back then it's like I feel like yeah it was big for I maybe I don't understand the climate but like getting to the moon yeah I know that there was a space race between the US and Soviet Russia
It was basically like oh maybe this is how we can solve the cold war like okay
It was literally a oh look at us we're more advanced
Like it was just one that I'm like why the third it's just so stupid to me that yeah they faked the fucking well they did let me tell you why the flag if you watch the videos the flag was moving it was waving and it was like out
Therefore you know the moon doesn't have wind the moon doesn't have gravity and whatever so wouldn't it just be like hanging there
Yeah yeah exactly they probably shot it on the surface of the sun then that's not real either they actually shot that entire video on the backside yeah of the planet that's the that's the dark side of the planet the flat the other flat side yeah because the planet is a pancake
So they were on the side it looks like a moon that we don't know about yeah then the shadows don't match the sun direction if you watch the videos their shadows all over the place and they don't match the one source of light
In space the sun yeah okay they didn't have any other lights no no and then there's no blast circle like when they took off there's no blast or real imprint on the moon like currently if you were to look at the moon yeah oh there's no blast site okay um and Neil you know good old Neil Armstrong first man on the moon allegedly
Who was filming him when he was climbing down the ladder so somebody else was already on the moon yeah wow had to have been a setup it was faked Stanley Kubrick or whatever he tried to tell us in the shining have you seen the video of Buzz Aldrin beat the shit out of that guy
Yes 100% it's so good he's old as shit 80 years old in this video and this guy's like the moon landing was staged and he fucking why won't you tell us the truth and he's bam bam bam it's so good dude and he's fired up you can see that like blood is pumping
Dude he's got a boner for the first time in 10 years just cuz the blood is pumping he's got a fight boner everybody gets those but yeah like obviously they they put a wire in the flag so that they would hang up and it was moving because they were drilling it into the ground like fucking stupid let's talk about the shadows yeah no shit they had mounted lights all over the place
Yeah have you heard of the dark side of the fucking moon it's not gonna be like like I don't know it's one where yeah they they could have planned to land on the lighter side like I mean no they did super light side of the moon super dark side even then it's still pretty fucking dark up there
And they're shooting in black and white they don't have like yeah they're better cameras up there. Oh and you know you're sitting on a on a moon which is orbiting around the earth which is orbiting itself around the sun. So you're you're going yeah of course you have to bring a bunch of like fucking lights.
Blast circle it's a little gravity it didn't take very much fuel to launch like the whole thing was it takes a shitload of fuel to launch out of the earth takes almost none to come back so I get the people that questioned it at the time for sure yeah cuz it was so new
It's like they air it and you're like that was technology they didn't know existed I can't see them on the moon right now kind of shit it's like okay I get it like this is so fucking crazy but like now it's like flat earth or something like how how the fuck do you like what
Hold on that's down there we'll talk about that later because of course it is yeah of course we'll burn through the the rest of these pretty quick these are the heavy hitters at the start and then obviously there was just an external camera on the lunar module that filmed him climbing down the ladder like no shit no shit Sherlock
Hey what do you think about fluoride in the water. Well it's making the frogs gay so yeah frog I mean those are chemicals not necessarily fluoride but it's one of the one of them. You know it's good for your teeth how dare the government try to protect my teeth.
I remember next we got to take the iodine out of the salt I want a goiter in every school. I remember hearing that when I was a kid that it was like oh yeah like they put it in there so you don't have to brush your teeth and I was like no that's not how that works.
I was like a kid I was like that's not how it works but it definitely does help and it's like if you and definitely if you have too much fluoride it is poisonous it can be poisonous in higher amounts. That's why I haven't lost any teeth yet. Yeah drink tap water. Perfect. Thank you Biden. Thanks Obama. Thanks Obama.
Despite the fact that it's been in there forever. God damn. But yeah apparently it's I've I came across so many different like fluoride conspiracies apparently it's for mind control or it suppresses the masses it makes us all docile. Oh fuck that's why I believe all this. That's why I don't believe in these conspiracy theories because I drink tap water. Oh God.
No no my favorite though is that yeah you know how you know it protects the teeth. It really binds to the teeth and is visible from space. So satellites pick up the signature through your skull and match it to your dental records so that they can track you in real time anywhere on Earth as long as there's a satellite pointed at you.
True truer words have never been spelt. Also Adolf Hitler gave the Jews fluoride in their water. You mean Wanda Sykes. Yeah Wanda Sykes. No and apparently that's why he how he got so many into the camps and has nothing to do with all the guns murder beatings burnings grenades artillery has nothing to do with any of that.
It was just the fluoride and then they walked in the camp. That's what's happening to us right now since the probably 50s 60s when they put it in the water. If not earlier I don't actually know. We're all slowly being pulled towards Auschwitz.
Very very I mean I am I want to go there so bad. Fair yeah. Everybody that's that's why all middle aged men get really into World War Two.
Oh yeah. All right. That's great. How do you feel about chemtrails. I have like two lines. The chemtrails thing is just like I hate my favorite. I feel like I feel like to believe the whole chemtrails thing would be like if you you woke up one day you walked outside for the first time and a jet flew over and you were like whoa that's crazy falling on.
And then immediately after that the first thing that you watched was a video of a farmer crop dusting exactly. And you were like huh. That's just me. I mean like that's that's what has to happen with your day for you to fucking believe in chemtrails.
Yeah because you know here's the critical thinking that just shows up. OK so they're chemtrailing everybody. So are they immune to it. Whoever they are like yeah they have like a vaccine. Yeah they are. They have a microchip. Yeah they have microchip. So then do they. How do they get new people to work with them whatever they are. If their baby is being born and being chemtrailed immediately do they like. Are you preselected for this job of whatever it is that they're trying to do.
They only didn't you know they only chemtrail over black communities. Yeah right. And then why do they need the planes. Especially if they do have some kind of you've already if you've already got stuff in the water why the fuck are you making it airborne. Why don't you just like throw a light bulb full of it in a subway somewhere.
Like what the fuck. They're easier ways to attaching this shit. And you'd think that the that people flying like physicists would be like hold on. They can hold way more fuel. Yes they have these huge tanks of pesticide.
You would also think that if you're going to do like like basically crop dusting like them more or less the more effective way of spreading this chemical would be low flying planes. Yeah. Not something that it's like I think that's a jet but I can't quite tell.
It'll be high. The only reason I can tell is because of the fucking like burst of cloud that it's making behind it. It's got to be high enough that it freezes and then melts and then evaporates before it hits the ground.
Like what the fuck. And why aren't like is it when you wake up in the morning and there's dew on the ground. That's just yeah wouldn't that just be everywhere.
And trail stuff like I don't understand apparently but yeah I don't know because if you're doing it so high up like it no it'll evaporate before it gets to you like it even then even if it were to like rain on you or it gets absorbed into the into this layer of ozone
or whatever the fuck you want to defend. The thing is there are like not solar winds but there are different winds that are higher than where we are standing. It wouldn't it wouldn't be effective at all.
No. To fly that high up and like carpet bomb somebody. Yeah. Why would you need that when you have fluoride.
It's crazy easier method would be to put it in a fucking vaccine. Yeah.
I hear this one tale as old as time one of the oldest conspiracy theories that I found here and I don't even think I can call it a conspiracy theory I think I can just call it a theory. Okay. I think I could just call it the truth.
Women can't orgasm. I mean it's true. I haven't been able to make my experience. Yeah.
According to our experience our experience is 50 percent of this household. Yeah. So yeah I think we can safely said we'll just move on from that. That one's true. My girlfriend's just a really fucking good actress. Yeah.
And she that's what she prides herself on isn't isn't like any of her hobbies or anything. She's like I like being with D because he makes me feel like the greatest actress in the world.
You just hear a gunshot. He isn't with us anymore. This is just a show. My favorite are the people that believe that it's like do you realize what you're admitting to. Yeah exactly.
And he's like damn you. Normally people are too embarrassed to say shit like that. And his wife is like no this is fucking true. Like we can't. And it's like oh honey. Oh I'm so sorry. Oh honey. Let me a use code at Adam and Eve.
We got to get a sponsorship and Adam and Eve sponsorship. I would be so down. That'd be great. We could try out new things every every podcast.
I'm going to the table under the table during. No offense but I really don't want to look you in the eyes. You know I'm sure you don't want to get off. Yeah.
I think off staring me in the eye which I though you know flatter trying the PP eviscerator.
So this is a quick one. Flat Earth. It's not worth the debate. The fucking Greeks figured this shit out with math and they were nerds. You see the video the guys that disprove themselves. Yes. I was. That's literally my next line.
Is there so many videos on YouTube of flat earthers just completely proving themselves wrong. And they're like oh who must be upset. Yeah. OK buddy. Yeah you are upset. It's called the curvature of the earth.
Oh god that was that one's great view. I saw another one where somebody got a bunch of balloons and put a GoPro on it and literally proved like showed the curvature of the earth and said well I can't have a flat earth or channel the street.
And then they said and then all the comments were oh well GoPro has lent has it's a fish I lens. That's what you were seeing. It's like no I turned off the fish I lens like you can. It's just a setting. He's like no no. Now you're one of them. You got your.
Oh god they've gotten to have gotten to you. He was he was a deep fake all along. He lost like all of his friends and everything. He should have lost the whole when he started believing in a flat. Well he found new friends in the flat earth.
There is. Have you seen the curvature of like just Chile. Like how much how much it curves how much that country like curves around. It's long easy. Yeah. Long and tall. Pretty cool. Unlike me on the opposite.
But at the same time it's like when you think about like there's no way. I know that we're not supposed to be debating with these fucking people but why the fuck would planes take a completely different route.
Like if you're looking at a flat map now how how how a flight plan just go in circles the plan the plane just goes oh yeah I'm actually going to take a wide right to get from point A to point. They just go in circles.
They don't go. Yeah it's like no I straight. Normally you would think that they would just take the shorter route but no we should probably just pull it. No no all the planes. Yeah that was actually one of them.
It was all the planes just go in circles to make it seem like they're going different routes and not following or and are following a curvature. All the big plane is in on it. Yeah yeah yeah.
Big obvious. This is my favorite one straight up. North Korea is really a paradise and all of the information that they release is 100 percent accurate. Meanwhile the Western world is running a massive propaganda campaign to suppress it because they don't want people to know how good they could have it.
Who's to know who's to know. So in next season next season of pressure points coming live from North Korea we are jumping the wall. If we could go to North Korea and not be immediately like are we going to do a the interview. Yeah.
Like they can't use that the road we would be great for it. The only problem is they would find out like they don't know while we're securing the hotel location everything they'd be like oh what's their podcast say.
Yeah we would die like we would land and they would just pop up and that'd be it. No they wouldn't even waste a bullet on us.
They just they just have somebody crash the plane. Yeah. Which was flying in circles. Yeah exactly. I would like to go to South Korea and go to the wall.
Then we should cross it. Yeah I'll just put a little I'll just push you across. I never have to do an episode again. I'll pull down my pants piss over the line and then you'll push me into it.
Take a look at this over the line. It's just fine. Like RoboCop. OK this was one that I've never heard of before. OK. It's called the Phantom Time hypothesis.
Oh OK. And the it basically says I don't know. OK. The way it started is there was basically this convention in Germany a bunch of German nothing to do with World War Two or Jews.
And this convection convention was about history. There's a bunch of historians and basically one of the people there one of the probably a professor or something said hey I found these documents that it seemed like they were forged in like the just before the early Middle Ages.
OK. And they were historical documents that talked about events in history that haven't happened yet. Like so it seemed like they were talking about things that hadn't happened yet and things that we accept as history.
OK. So this guy goes down a rabbit hole where he now says that this was the one one Chan. Yeah.
This is one Chan that he found. He says that the Middle Ages the early Middle Ages did not happen at all. Our history from that time period was invented.
Any historical artifacts from dated to that time period either came before that or after that. Which doesn't make any fucking sense. Dude has fucking main character syndrome. Yeah.
He's like I was actually the start of the year. No no he says that the church wrote out 300 years of history that looked beneficial to them and then just inserted it into the calendar when they switched over to the Gregorian calendar which means according to his his science let's say his theory Charlemagne didn't exist like.
And there's also no motive that we can find besides like maybe it made the church look better but it also didn't. Like you'd think if they were running that kind of propaganda they would eliminate a lot better.
Yeah they'd be like oh yeah there actually wasn't a class difference. I think that was after this is early middle. Oh this is early middle.
Regardless. But yeah like you'd think there'd be a lot more pro church propaganda. Jesus what was this one called. The Phantom Time Hypothesis. Definitely look it up because it's weird. I'll check it out. I basically boiled it down to four lines rather than talk about it and it's it's crazy. What the fuck. So yeah they basically just.
It's not actually 20 23 it's 17 23. Yeah. What the fuck. And yeah like. And then there's no real evidence besides this one guy just saying.
But I love the idea. I'm just not dumb or creative enough. I'm not stupid creative enough to come up with a conspiracy. Oh another potential motive was there was a king who around that time who may have like greenlit it so that the year 1000 hit in his reign which back in those days if your reign as a king hit the millennial mark.
You were like espoused by God or something like God loves you or something. I don't know. That seems really loose. So it's also back during Pangea. So that's why he was it was easy. They were writing around about dinosaurs. It was easier for him to control all of the people to reset their calendars.
Well yeah here's here's another thing like obviously during this time not everybody could read not everybody had access to even timekeeping but the amount of work it would have taken to have had to travel to every church chapel monastery set in the you know in the world as they knew it would take a hundred years.
So I switch it to a day.
Oh it's it's stupid. But yeah I just thought it was interesting. Oh here's a here's a fun one. You'll love this one. You remember Rasputin. Yeah. Yeah. Talk about Rasputin a couple of times. Yeah. Like actually talk about eventually.
He you know got poisoned shot stabbed thrown in a river shot again and apparently survived it all. And he was sleep around with a bunch of like Russian high society women. Wild son of a bitch. And he was like a magician Magi kind of guy.
And he's worth it. He's worth a full episode even though I think 90 percent of it was just being able to talk his way out of the situation and people being afraid of his like magic. I mean he was a funky looking dude. He was a funky looking dude. He played the part.
So according to this theory he actually did survive that final encounter in the river. I trimmed off his hiding on the island with two park and Elvis. Yeah he's he's shaved off his beard and he traveled and inserted himself into German society.
Oh God of course of course he's Hitler isn't he. He's Hitler. Oh my God. He became Hitler and that's why Germany fought Russia because he wanted revenge despite the fact that they were originally allied with Russia and then fought them only later in the war.
Damn it dude. I love this because they look absolutely nothing alike. I know at all. They don't even they don't have the same body type. Even if you were to I don't know chop off the bottom of his feet so he'd be shorter and gained a bunch of weight.
That's what he did. Yeah he was. Yeah worth it. That's why the opposite of those were those boots. He did the opposite of the dwarfism to normal size person. That's a really unfair way of saying that is not average height person. Yeah average.
Thank you. Sorry it's late and this is a long fucking episode. Sorry it's fun dwarfism to average height person. He did the opposite. They just cut out parts of his bones and his legs. What the fuck. All right. I've got just just a couple quick ones.
Dinosaurs were planted by the US government and governments around the world to disprove religion. I will say that I grew up knowing people very very very close to me that weren't necessarily raising me but were very close to me that believed dinosaur bones were put in the earth by
Satan to question to make Christians question whether God exists. Like the 6000 year old earth. That's that's similar. I had some some family members who thought that the only reason we have dinosaurs is that they whoever created our earth our Jesus or whatever used parts of
other planets that had been destroyed. So there were other planets that had dinosaurs and they just kind of crushed it all together like a ball of play dough reusing those parts. And that's why we have dinosaurs. And if you guys if anybody listening has any questions on like some of the weird post death shit that Mormons believe just reach out and I'll tell you about it. There's some wild shit. There is there's some really weird shit that they believe.
And if you're one of them. Sorry you believe I'm sorry I'm sorry. All right all right all right. The NSA made Xbox one. That is my conspiracy theory here. Okay. So the NSA went to Microsoft and said hey make the Xbox one. Do you remember how terrible the Xbox one was on originally the idea. I remember when they talked about release and everyone was like we don't fucking want that. Yeah it was the always on always needed internet. It had the dumb DRM.
Shit didn't have any sharing. Yeah. They had terrible launch games and the Kinect was always on. So and the voice recognition stuff. So the Kinect specifically was made by the NSA to spy on American households similar to the screen in 1984. If you've read that book and the NSA basically forced Microsoft to make it. But Microsoft being the good guys they are. See conspiracy theories can't decide whether or not Bill Gates.
They're like he you know he was bad in 2013 or actually he was good in 2013 but in 2020 he got real bad. Yeah. But after he's after his divorce he went downhill a month later. They purposely botched the launch to protect the American people.
So stupid. I love that one. That was really good. Oh geez. Have you heard of fan death. Apparently it's bigger in like Korea. It's almost an urban legend. That's what we should do. The next urban legends conspiracy theory episode as we go in in depth in conspiracy theories in other countries. Yeah.
Or just urban legend because I know there would be a lot that we wouldn't really understand. And so we'd have to look further into it and like we can just shit on ourselves to like disprove it. Yeah. I that would be cool. That would be super cool.
But the so fan death is a kind of showed up when the country got electricity and appliances and like electrical fans. The idea was if you sleep in a room with a fan going and the windows and doors are closed you'll either end up paralyzed or dead.
And it's either damn girl I should be definitely dead. Yeah. So it's either from something with the electricity like the electrical field or my favorite asphyxiation the fan blows all the oxygen away from you. And when you're sleeping you're getting less oxygen and it kills your organs.
Yeah. Have you ever put your head out of a car window while you're driving. Exactly. No. Breathe. No. I'm here. I'd be dead if I did. You get hereditary. Yeah.
I thought that one was interesting just because it was from a different country. Nixon hired Stephen King to kill John Lennon.
So there was a picture of Stephen King and the actual killer I forgot his name and they look similar they both wear glasses they both had kind of features the same similar features during that time period which holy shit is Stephen King old.
Yeah dude. I. Yeah. But they yeah they they covered it up even the car accident that got him out of the public space for a little bit was part of the cover up. You ought to be honest and they framed this other guy.
Nixon wasn't able to hide shit. I know. I know. If we can figure out Watergate an actual perpetrated scandal that was extremely well hidden.
If he's going to fuck up Watergate he's not going to. Yeah. And you think he would like say hey get the attention off me. Stephen King killed John Lennon and Stephen King.
He's a fucking real one man. He's a weirdo. He knows cocaine. He's a real like I love. I don't.
If I'm being honest I don't think Stephen King of any writer would be like yeah I'm going to get in on this fucking government sneaky bullshit.
No I like why the fuck would anybody believe that somebody that's releasing like almost two books a year. When did he have time for that when he was on cocaine he would do once a month.
Yeah dude. Full length books. Like the amount of books that he's shitting out why the fuck would you like if you were Nixon you'd be like OK someone who's really good at just shitting out information let's make them kill somebody.
Yeah. Like no that would be the dumbest shit since Watergate.
And it's it's crazy. I love reading interviews about that time period in his life when he was on a lot of cocaine with Stephen King now because he's like yeah I went on a bender with my wife or whatever and I wrote an entire novel and I had to reread it and I didn't remember writing it at all and it was the darkest novel I've ever written.
It's like holy shit that dude is gripped by the sirens. I'm sure I'm sure everybody already knows this and I'm sure you already know this but like he had to create his pseudonym because his publisher was like we cannot release any more fucking books right now under the Stephen King name.
And so it was was it Richard Buchanan something like that. Not something weird. But he had to create a pseudonym so that he could just shit out more books that he just had. He was constantly writing and those books were winning awards alongside Stephen King books.
And then it came out and it was like oh shit yeah they are the same person he's like yeah sorry. I had to like god damn crazy ass dude.
I wish I could get that dedicated to fucking anything.
Yeah. All right last one because I need to pee. Yeah and it's a long episode sorry.
I need to go fucking sleep.
The CIA organized Pearl Harbor to get the US into the war. Now hear me out. The president and Congress at the time were very publicly saying this is real. We're very publicly like we don't want to enter the war because their constituents were like we don't want to enter the war.
At the same time you know they're in the Great Depression and they knew they definitely knew that getting into war would will get your country out of a depression.
Like it is great for the economy to go to war.
Creates a fuck ton of jobs.
Yeah. So I mean if you look at Pearl Harbor despite the fact that a huge portion of the Navy was there it was under armed under defended and honestly just sitting ducks to have every ship come in just about every ship come in to do like repairs and shit.
It's an idiot move. If anybody with any kind of strategy around that, knowing that the Japanese were within range of Hawaii would do rotating repairs, not have a huge bulk of the force show up and just all do repairs which means they're not staffed as well.
They're not necessarily armed as well.
The idea is that the, the plan to go in and do those repairs and shit were leaked by the CIA to the Japanese.
While the president worked with the military to kind of make sure they would get hit hard but not lose too much life, just enough to make it into like a way to get into the war.
Yeah, enough, enough to fuck up and like radicalize American people.
Yeah. Can you think of any ways that this would be disproven.
Because honestly, I'm really fucking tired. Well, for. Yeah, you go.
All right. Yeah. Well for one the CIA didn't exist yet. Yes. Yeah, Jesus Christ. Well, the OSS didn't even exist yet. The closest thing they have was the Office of Naval Intelligence, who was the Navy that got attacked.
They were in on it. They were. Yeah, the Navy was in on it. The guys who got attacked. Yeah, yeah, they were, they were like you know we can lose, we can lose 49 ships. Yeah.
All right, so let's get through this, this is exit quick. Cool. I'll start. Hey, thanks for listening. I know this was a long episode and a goofy episode, a little different from what we normally talk about should take in half of the I really
made it into a part two. I thought we'd go through it quicker, but we had some good conversations and that's the problem. I mean it did. You can never tell. It was like 30 minutes of exposition before you got anything.
Oh yeah, that too. We ranted. So I'll do my part real quick. Patreon.com forward slash points. Oh pressure. You can also just type in pressure points and we show up first. Yeah, I think we're like cool. We're up there on there.
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Yeah.
Yeah.
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Yeah.